Published on 12, July, 2020
Hiya, my daughter (14 years) hasn't been sleeping well and having nightmares and flashbacks about her past. Certain things are triggering her now, which usually wouldn't, like certain words, smells, noise and food, even wearing some clothes and I'm getting worried about her. I explained before that she's been low and getting fed-up and doesn't have much motivation but the past 3 days, she's been tidying her room and sorting things out, which is great.
She will not go to any places which remind her of the past, for example, forests, places down the road and parks. She's not been like this before but ever since Friday, one of her teachers triggered her and she left site and is getting upset by the things I've mentioned.
Basically she's had a low, hard past... It started years ago when we moved house and school, then she moved school again due to behaviour, 13 hours later, she went back to the other school and moved to the PRU she's in now, before Covid. During all of this, she did home-schooling, became depressed, had suicidal thoughts and behaviour, in and out of hospital and detained under mental health act for months because of leaving and doing runners. She was also arrested 1 month after her 14th birthday (there was a lot of police involvement months before), for possession of bladed article, 3 counts of assault on emergency worker, threats to kill and a public order offence. That all happened when she wanted to end her life and left home. After all of this, she had to live with her dad for months and we gradually had to up the time she saw us (she's now living with us full-time) and she was so close to being taken into care. I mean so close. One time she was in hospital, the social worker was about to call and take her away from us until her dad called and said that she'll stay with them. So that's her past and she's come along way and we don't want to go back. Unfortunately, like I said, she's having nightmares after being triggered and now not doing certain things.
I'm sorry about all this but I really need help with her. How can I help her? What can I do? She doesn't want to go to school anymore but said she's only going to see a friend she just made, to do her cooking lesson and to do P.E (playing volleyball with friend). What can I do now? I'm trying my hardest but when we solve a problem, there's always another one...
Thanks and I'm sorry again...
Ok thanks for letting me know
Sorry to bother you again, but it might also be worth pointing out that mirtazapine made me feel much worse when I was first put on it - it's really helping now but I'm just cautious about looking like I'm recommending things because they have side effects too and don't suit some people at all.
Ok will do. Thanks.
Have a look at Mind's website - see if the info on PTSD sounds relevant and then have a look at the tips for supporting someone with it - I would share the link, but it's got a donate button on it, so wasn't sure if mods would allow. It's written in relation to adults, but I'm sure most of it is relevant.
Thanks, I'm getting a little worried because she can fully remember the details and the date from when a friend was being kidnapped but luckily wriggled free. She remembers it completely, and it was years ago. Anything we talk about or just anything, she will relate it to something bad in the past, for example, death, the kidnap, anything that happened last year, anything anyone says she will just remember that specific day/time. What should I do? She doesn't want any help and prefers to deal with things by herself.
I get annoying memories of past events - I put it down to something called real life OCD - but if her flashbacks are more like hallucinations, it could be a form of PTSD - I'm no expert though.
Ok thanks. She won't take tablets and they are banned after she took an overdose. I'm just really determined to know why she's having nightmares and being triggered by everything now, because it hasn't happened like this before.
I take tablets but looks like you can get an oral solution.
Thanks, is it a tablet or can you get it in a liquid form?
I dream on mirtazapine - might depend on the dose though - plus I take aripiprazole with it so maybe that cancels out some benefits.
She used to take it in hospital otherwise she would be up all night causing issues. She has been using melatonin which has been knocking her out but she stopped taking it so I'll see if she'll take it again. Thanks.
I would recommend an antidepressant called mirtazapene, you take it at night, it knocks you out for the night, and you have zero dreams. I was on it for about 6 months and didn't have a single dream.
Thank you so much.
Hi ParentingAutism,
Thank you for sharing this with us. This is such a tough time for you- really sorry about that. May I suggest contacting our Parent to Parent service? They offer emotional support to parents and carers of children or adults with autism.
Their contact number is 0808 800 4106. Leave them a message and they should call you back as soon as possible at a time that suits you. You can also contact them via this webform: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/parent-to-parent
You may also like to look at our information about mental health: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health
Hope that helps!
Kindest regards.
Eunice Mod
Another thing I forgot to mention is that, Friday, she called her dad and they had a chat and he said 'we don't want you to go back to the old you because that was a very dark place back for you and for everyone'. He also said to her that he saw a paramedic (he's a paramedic too) that she hurt and apparently the worker asked her dad how she's doing and how everything is going, and when she heard that, she was in tears. Happy tears or not, she hasn't stopped thinking about it an then her teacher said something that triggered her a while after.
She would probably not try CAMHS again because they weren't understanding when she was in hospital. They weren't too helpful. Thanks anyway.
Feel free to ignore this if not helpful, but I was talking to someone about how a local Healthwatch has helped them get the support they need - would she be prepared to try CAMHS again if people like Healthwatch were keeping an eye on how useful they were being - this all sounds like an awful lot for you to try to work out on your own.