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How to make friends- 17 year old teen

NAS73012

Hi, my daughter is 17. She has people she talks to occasionally at school but no actual friends. This has been an issue for many years and she has no confidence. She is at an all girls school and just can’t seem to form a friendship. 
She is desperate to make a close friend that she can talk to regularly (perhaps via text or online). She hates all sport and no interest in any of the usual clubs so hasn’t been able to make friends that way. 
Any ideas on how she could make a friend? 

Parents

  • Hello

    This is sad to read. I feel for her and for you. My 17 year old daughter, who was diagnosed with autism last December, does have friends but they have chosen her as opposed to her choosing them. She struggles to initiate friendships herself. Before her diagnosis she used to get very upset about the fact that she didn't have any 'real' friends and that her friends didn't understand her. The diagnosis has enabled her to understand why they may not fully understand her, (and why she may not understand others), but that they she can still have fun with these people. Things that have worked better for her are building friendships with younger girls. Being in a mixed gender school benefits her as she finds friendships with boys easier to manage as they are less emotionally intense. One of the best ways that she has managed to make friends is by joining a club outside of school. She HATES team sport and the usual club activities too. She loves art and joined a club for young artists, again mixed gender, at our local art gallery. I was amazed that she wanted to do this. She is extremely nervous every time that she goes, we have to walk around the block many times before she can enter the building, but it has been a big help in boosting her confidence and increasing her friendship group. Perhaps friends is too strong a term but it has helped her meet more people and have an interaction that boosts her confidence and mood.

    Good luck

Reply

  • Hello

    This is sad to read. I feel for her and for you. My 17 year old daughter, who was diagnosed with autism last December, does have friends but they have chosen her as opposed to her choosing them. She struggles to initiate friendships herself. Before her diagnosis she used to get very upset about the fact that she didn't have any 'real' friends and that her friends didn't understand her. The diagnosis has enabled her to understand why they may not fully understand her, (and why she may not understand others), but that they she can still have fun with these people. Things that have worked better for her are building friendships with younger girls. Being in a mixed gender school benefits her as she finds friendships with boys easier to manage as they are less emotionally intense. One of the best ways that she has managed to make friends is by joining a club outside of school. She HATES team sport and the usual club activities too. She loves art and joined a club for young artists, again mixed gender, at our local art gallery. I was amazed that she wanted to do this. She is extremely nervous every time that she goes, we have to walk around the block many times before she can enter the building, but it has been a big help in boosting her confidence and increasing her friendship group. Perhaps friends is too strong a term but it has helped her meet more people and have an interaction that boosts her confidence and mood.

    Good luck

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