Special or Mainstream - which school is best?!

Since I last posted I have visited the Special School closest to us! Oh God - it was amazing! 

I spent 2 hours with the Headteacher, who showed me all around the school and introduced me to staff and, of course, some of the pupils who were curious as to who I was - and I'm proud to say I was able to sign a short 'conversation' with a little boy who wanted to know my name and why I was looking at the hydrotherapy pool and asked if I thought it was 'cool'.

Anyway to cut a long story short - after my visit and discussions at home - I've contacted the LA SEN Dept and told them what we want to do. They're contacting Jack's school to request that they arrange an 'emergency' review meeting with the health professionals that have been working with Jack, and ourselves to discuss Jack.

We have spoken with Jack's teacher and she admitted that they are struggling and have concerns about his future education there! We're a bit relieved that they won't disagree with us about his move but are very disappointed that they haven't discussed their concerns with us before - even though I raised the same in the last meeting we had.

However, we just want to move forward now and get Jack into his new school - they have 3 vacant places - amazingly, in the 5-6 age range! Perfect - think this is meant to be! x

We are starting the statement ing process now for our nearly 3 year old son. We want him to go an ASD school and are very lucky to have one 5 mins down the road. He can start at age 3 so that's why we have started the process early so fingers crossed.

Thanks so much for all your comments and advice - I find this really helpful.

I just feel in such a dilemma at the moment. The school Jack goes to now is quite small but oversubscribed. There are 3 children with Statements in the Foundation Class but only Jack has Autism and it's the first time the school has had an ASC child so they are very much learning about it themselves. His teacher is very proactive in getting training for his TA and has also arranged for Jack to attend a Social Communication Group every Friday morning at a local Special School (attending this school isn't an option tho as they come under a different Authority to where we live - so stupid really!). He fits in well into their ASC class and his TA is learning so much from them.

My worry is that as Jack moves into Yr1, the school will struggle to educate him. His language isn't brilliant but he does talk and is getting better. He is quite passive so at the moment isn't causing any problems in the class environment. At our family meeting with the school, Ed Psych and Integration Officer, it came out that there are two boys in the class that copy Jack's actions (flapping) and noises that he makes. I worry that later on this might turn into bullying, though the school are keen to stamp out the behaviour they can't always control what happend in the playground!

Looking ahead, I want Jack to learn valuable life skills and hand on heart I know he won't learn these in mainstream school - as sad as that makes me! His 'autistic talent' is music and even at age 5 he can sing, hold a tune perfectly and strums his guitar and follows a sequence of notes on a keyboard - these are the little things we are nurturing and I want  him to be able to express - I don't think that can happen in mainstream.

i thought about home schooling but don't think I could do it and have seen how Jack loves being around a lot of people (though he does like his solitude too when he decides he needs it). 

I'm typing this and realising what I need to do - I need to get on and sort this out don't I?! My hubby trusts my judgement when it comes to Jack (it was me who pushed for the assessment when Jack was 2yrs old and I thought he was showing autistic traits) and I know he'll agree and support the decision to explore a move of schools. I need to talk to Jack's teacher and tell her what I'm thinking, I need to contact the SEN Dept at the Council and I need to speak to the Special School that I have in mind for Jack (it comes very highly recommended from other parents of autistic children who say their kids have thrived there), and most importantly we need to take Jack to the school and see how he reacts to the environment - they have a class specifically for ASC children.

The one thing I know I'll stuggle with is the school run!! Jack's school is a 5 minute walk from our house - the Special School collect all their children by bus so they arrive on time, relaxed and ready to start their day - hmmm! I'll need to get over that for Jack's sake.

I really really appreciate all your help and advice and know I still need to hear it as I'm sure I'll have a wobble somewhere along the line. xx

HappyDays - You suggest some really useful questions to ask when looking round special school that those of us just starting might not even think of.  If you have any more suggestions, I'd really like to hear them! 

I am also interested in home schooling and would love to hear what you consider the pros and cons to be.  Appreciate you must be very busy with 4 at home so only if you have the chance!

Thank you!

my 4  children all have ASC,all have been removed from mainstream school as the environment there was very difficult for them, i found that teachers showed very little understanding or empathy towards the needs of my children, and they  spent the vast majority of the time really quite distressed there. Bullying was also a big problem. My youngest daughter also spent some time within a special school, she has also been removed due to staff again showing little understanding and by the headteachers own admission having no consistency and in dire need of staff training.

My personal experience of education has been that its a god awfull let down,it has been nothing short of a nightmare for the kids and also for myself having to constantly battle and fight for everything.I found i was repeating  mysef over and over to schools and having no joy at all. i honestly dont believe that things will improve any time soon particularly with all of the cuts.

When the negative experiences outweigh the positive benefits of attending school its time to give it up. i now home educate my children and all the stress is gone and the kids are much much happier. I understand that this is not for everyone, so my advice would be to speak with other parents who have children with ASC in the school  to see how good the school are at addressing their concerns and listening to them, find out as much as you can about how often they recieve up to date training, whether they have a high turnover of TAs as the changing faces  can be very unsettling, find out what will happen if your child does become distressed and whether an appropriatley qualified member of staff will be there to understand and deal with these kinds of situations. This advice stands for both special and mainstream, dont persume unless you opt for an Autism specific school that a special school will particularly be any better as they are often geared up to deal with moderate or severe learning difficulties and can themselves have difficulties with the Autism side if things . The key to your childs success will be in having really good  and understanding staff who will try to understand your childs  view of the world.

As lou31 says there is no right or wrong, all you can do is what you think is best for your child after all you know him better that anyone.

good luck

I don't think I can be much help as I am going through a similar dilemma.  What I can tell you is that my son is a year older than yours and so moved to year 1 last September. 

It is a lovely school and they are very supportive.  He had a great time in Foundation and has 1-1 support for year 1.  However, it is a big change and is causing a lot of distress for him.  I am doing all I can to resolve this for him and am now looking at Special schools. 

No right or wrong, just go along and have a look. 

Best of luck

Hello

I would very strongly argue that you should put him into a special school if you can. 

From my experiences (I am age 17 and having a terrible time in a mainstremm collage. I was diagnosed with ASD last year and now failing to get all the support I never got as a child. Also trying to get to a special collage but can't because I apparently have 'no specialist needs' having been in mainstreem schools all my life. A complete lie but what can I do?) 

So, based on that I would say get him into a specialist school now-while you can. He will then get all the basic skills and extra support people with Autism need. If he progresses well then you would be able to put him in a mainstreem school but still with support if that was decided to be best for him. But what I am saying is do not do it the other way round. You need to start speciallist and work towards mainstreem. As he has a diagnosis this will be possible-unlike it was for me. 

Amy

hi - mum of 3's comments are very relevant so I support what she says.  I never had this dilemma.  My son's an adult now.  When he was diagnosed, without any hassle from the authorities, he was automatically allocated to the school for children with autism.  So he was in an autism-specific school all his school life.  It served him well : small classes, high pupil to staffing ratio with people who understood autism + the individual children in their care.  So I cannot comment on transferring from mainstream to special or back again.  Have a look at the many posts on the site on this subject + take mum of 3's advice.