Recent Diagnosis

Hey guys. 

My daughter of 4 year old has been diagnosed with Autism just before the weekend. 

A gear ago she couldn't speak at all and used to headbang alot out of frustration and had no sign of pain and cause bruises onto her forehead.

Since lockdown 2020 we spent so much time together being indoors and off school I managed to fully potty train her within 5 days and she started to string sentence along. Along with this the headbanging reduced to atleast 80% which is massive progress. The only time she headbangs mainly is when she gets a massive telling off at home for doing something naughty even then she gets really upset and we see it coming so we sort of divert her attention and then we result in no headbang which is great. She hasn't done any head banging at home for a good few months as she knows mummy and daddy are always next to her for help. She gets the most frustrated during play!!! And especially in school is something isn't going right or keeps falling etc she does a loud angry scream and if no one comes to her rescue at this point she does a few headbangs. Only good thing about this is she knows she understands pain so she knows how hard/soft to do it being in half day nursery Only at this age is the most difficult for her when she finds a toy or play station in school she assumes its hers and no one else's so if any child comes close to play or takes something off her to join in she screams and either swipes things off the table infront of her or does a few hesdbangs or slaps. Within 5-10 seconds she is over it and carries on playing. If it's role playing she has to be the boss and pours all her school friends a cup of "tea" but if any other child wants to take that role she is not having it !! 

Does anyone have any advice or tips on how we can try and get her to share with her school friends? 

She doesn't have enough social skills at the moment to talk with friends but she plays nicely with her cousins and tries talking to them when playing with them butt SHE HAS TO BE THE BOSS. At home she shares amazing with the aunties the grandparents and ourselves because I'm guessing she trusts us? She knows who we are and she trusts us same as her cousins!! 

The school have tried playing take it in turns games but my daughter isn't a fan and just likes to scream and walk away.

She does not mind kids playing next to her aslong as they have their own toys and not touching hers !! 

  • You may feel she's too young but competitive play may suit her better than 'turn taking' play. It doesn't require you to coordinate with someone but you do need to respond. I can't think of any appropriate physical games but 2 player video games might be an option. She has her own controller, she doesn't need to share, but she can still share the experience socially with someone else. Video games put players on an equal footing where there is no 'boss' and taking a game controller out of some ones hand is considered dreadful etiquette at any age.

    It will build motor skills, hand eye coordination, and depending on the game reasoning skills too. It can provide a controlled environment where she can interact with her peers in a way that will likely feel very safe and predictable for her.

  • Hello AHume,

    Your daughter has made such a good progress during the lockdown. Well done to her and to you who helped her! The NAS website has a page on 'supporting pre-school children' and it might be of help to you: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/pre-school-children

    You can also search the NAS website for more articles related to pre-school children.

    All the best,

    Karin Mod

  • Thankyou for the advice and the reply. she loves to play on the playstation with my husband even though the controller is too complex for her she likes him to have the controller and her controlling whwre he has to move. this is amazing for her concentration. we have the nintendo switch which the controllers are more basic and she does enjoy that too, we never thought of this idea but thankyou for your advice i think i will look into getting more games for her for the nintendo and getting more play time with it and her.