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First post- in need of some good advice

Nana

Good morning,

This is my first post and I'd need some advice in regard of my son, please. He is 6 and very likely to be in the spectrum. We took him for a private screening assessment back in February and are having him formally diagnose in just over two weeks. He is quite independent, loves mazes, swimming, riding his bike and has been working hard to make a few friends. However school is a trigger for him and he feels so anxious at the idea of having to go that he is already refusing it. He says he finds learning in school hard and he doesn't talk a lot  when he is there. But he is bright and quick to learn when at home despite his trouble with processing information, thing that was highlighted by the psychologist during the screening assessment. School is providing him with extra help but is not meeting his needs at all since they do not explain things the way he understands it and he is behind his peers. I am not that concerned about him missing out on learning because I know he is bright and can catch up given the right support but what concerns me is his low self esteem and refusal when it comes to school. I am having a meeting with the school educational psychologist and his teachers this week for a consultation and I do not know what to expect. We are in the process of applying for an Ehc plan in the hope that that will change his experience of school if he ever was lucky enough to be accepted.

Has anybody ever had to deal with school refusal? Have you ever met an educational psychologist? How do I help my son in this journey he is hating with all himself?

Thank you for your time Blush

Teresa 

  • in reply to Nana

    No problem I still see when you comment on the thread anyway carry on doing what your doing and ask questions if you want to know more about something and you should work it out

  •  Thank you for your words, O. It is reassuring to realised we are going the right way. It is not our wish to impose our views or judge his perspectives and we are confident the professionals will help. It's the meantime that is being hard to handle so far. Thank you for giving me your point of view, it is something to treasure. 

    (I would like to reply to your message directly but I cannot find the reply button. Apologies!) 

    Thank you Emmy! 

  • Hi Nana,

    I'm 22 and I had a hard time at School in a similar way your son does in terms of his social difficulties I think you're doing the the best thing for him pursuing a diagnosis I wish someone caught on to me at that young age, my life would have been very different. So getting the help you need from PROFESSIONALS early on will be the best thing you can do and will give him the tools so he may lead a more comfortable life around people and it will help you as parents to learn how he sees the world so you can better understand as he gets older.

    I can tell you from experience or the lack of more like that having a parent that REALLY understands your perspective and doesn't force upon you their own opinions and beliefs will be a massive help for him. Assuming you are not autistic yourself you will most likely have very different views and perspectives especially as he grows and for him having someone there that won't invalidate his view will be hugely beneficial for him. But obviously that doesn't mean to let him do what he wants you will need to educate him a guide him the right ways so he doesn't do something foolish that will hold him back in life.

    O

  • in reply to Nana

    I understand that loneliness. I wish you the best of luck with the assessment, and know that you can always reach out in this community if things get difficult. I'm glad your son has such a loving family - it really does make all the difference.

  • in reply to Emmy

    Hi again, I have just realised I should have replied here Blush

  • Hello Emmy and thank you for your kind words.

    Yes, his wellbeing is what matters the most at the moment. Hopefully the outcome of the assessment will give us all a chance to better understand  his differences and support him the way he deserves. It just feels a bit lonely sometimes. This is a new reality and we do not always know if we are doing well. Thanks again

  • Hi Teresa,

    I'm an adult autistic, and I was much the same in school. I never spoke, and while I was bright and learned quickly, some aspects of learning within the school environment I found very difficult, especially towards secondary school because then the social aspect became difficult, too.

    Unfortunately I was undiagnosed at the time, but it's very fortunate that your son is going to be diagnosed! This means more help will be available for you. It's also great that he's telling you exactly why he finds school difficult. When he is diagnosed, I would suggest going into the school and asking for them to give him a teaching assistant who can work with him 1:1, to give him centred, personal support and ensure that work is explained in a way he can understand.

    Luckily he is very young, and you clearly care for him so much. Being able to support him early on and being in his corner with these things will be a huge benefit for his school life and beyond!

    Emmy