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Advice - my daughter may have autism/adhd

NAS72680

hello, this is my first post on this site, any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

My 4 year old daughter, who we believe may have autism or adhd is becoming increasingly more volatile and aggressive. Daily we have struggles controlling her anger issues that are sometimes due to her simply not getting her own way...is this a temper tantrum or is she having a meltdown. This morning at 6am the controllers on the Nintendo switch were not charged which then resulted in her having a meltdown which has lasted 2 hours. During this time she has thrown things around the house, broken things and hit, bit and punched myself and my husband. We are really struggling and would like advice of how to deal with her and her struggles. I have spoken to my GP and health visitor but as you can imagine with covid at the moment things are taking longer than expected.

Any help or advice would be appreciated

Thank you 

Stephen 

Parents

  • Hi Steph,  I am in a very similar situation with my 4 year old son who has very poor speech and doesn't answer when we ask him or call on him unless it's something he loves, like food! 

    We have been delayed over a year for an appointment due to covid but had one last week. This was with an Dr but he has now to go to another more in depth assessment. This Dr suspects has has ADHD and Autism.  It feels like a living nightmare so I feel your pain.  I have sent you a friend request type thing on here. I am unsure if it has worked as I am new to all this to. sorry I have called you Stephen on the message before I noticed it was a typo.

    Feel free to ask me anything or share anything that has helped you as we feel like we are drowning and it is really affecting us.  I have became quite depressed by it to be honest although it's not about me, it's about the wee man.

    Ryan 

  • in reply to NAS72643

    Hi Ryan

    Its nice to know that people relate to you and know what you're going through. I have spoken to my GP today and been trying to contact health visitors to see if we can chase up her referral for Child development services. I've been told to keep on at them to see if I can get her seen by someone. As you said a living nightmare, I just want what's best for her. 

    Does your son have anger issues? It would be nice to hear of ways to help her deal with them.

    Steph

Reply
  • in reply to NAS72643

    Hi Ryan

    Its nice to know that people relate to you and know what you're going through. I have spoken to my GP today and been trying to contact health visitors to see if we can chase up her referral for Child development services. I've been told to keep on at them to see if I can get her seen by someone. As you said a living nightmare, I just want what's best for her. 

    Does your son have anger issues? It would be nice to hear of ways to help her deal with them.

    Steph

Children
  • in reply to NAS72643

    Hi Ryan

    It too sounds like you're doing the best for your little man. 

    Its lovely to know that he has a good bond with his brothers. My daughter has a nice relationship with her older sister whom she can sometimes not be very nice to but overall they have a good relationship. We have recently had a baby she's only 3 weeks so my 4 year old takes a slight interest in her but I think she's a bit too boring for her at the minute haha. 

    I am sure that with time and the right support your son will develop more language and it is good that you are getting somewhere with the speech and language professionals.

    All we can do is try our best and support in the best way that we can, hopefully further down the line support from others will be there and we will see progress that can be made 

    Steph

  • in reply to NAS72680

    Hi Steph, it's a tough time for sure.

    He certainly has periods of frustration where he knocks something off a unit or he chucks his Ipad away.  His speech is really the biggest red flag, that and not answering to much unless it's sufficiently interesting and he will react easy enough.  I would say he ignores us 90% of the time though.

    He has brothers of 10, 3 and 6 months and interacts with them well enough, playing with them. He is very affectionate to his baby brother and will kiss him often and hug him which is another good sign I think.  However, he does retreat for quite a bit of alone time to his room or to watch something and I would say the alone time is increasing in percentage terms. I am actually terrified that he is never going to be able to talk well but I am not sure if I am being rational.

    In the context of what I have read as 'meltdowns', I would say we have been reasonably 'lucky' . I cant actually understand how I could possibly think that given the level of despair this has sunk me into.

    He is at nursery and can have worse days that others but I think in the grand scheme of things, given the suspicion of the route cause, he deals very well.

    One piece of advice I would give you is I emailed the speech therapy department that he was meant to see over a year ago, just prior to covids arrival. I emailed them about a week ago saying that this could not go on any longer and copied in the health visitor.  I was nice enough but to the point making it clear that a year down the line, any further delay was not good enough. I got a phone call and things have sped up a bit.  I know this might not be of any help as the wee mans willingness to participate is key but if nothing else it shall highlight anything else whilst we await the next appointment which will herald a specific diagnosis if it is coming.

    I don't really have any answers. Trying my best is a bit therapeutic to me which I need just now as it helps the endorphins a fraction that I am trying my best.

    All the very best.

    Ryan