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Public Transport

ParentingAutism

Hiya, does anyone have any ways/ideas on how to cope on public transport especially buses. 

My daughter will have to get the bus home from school every Thursday but she doesn't want to. She has had a negative experience in the past with the school teens on the bus but I have reassured her that it will be quiet because she finishes at 2pm so the children won't be on there.

The other main problem is face masks because she doesn't like having them on for a long period of time. She doesn't want to wear one on the bus but does at the same time to keep everyone safe as well. Her dad (my ex husband) wants her to wear one because he's on the front line dealing with it all so he's at high risk of getting it. Therefore, my daughter doesn't want to put him at risk even more. She struggled on the bus before covid-19 and with masks in place it's even harder. Does anyone have any ideas on what to do? I'm clueless. 

Many thanks x

  • in reply to Oblomov

    We haven't tried one of those but she won't like it on her head. I might just let her take a mask and if she wants to wear it she can and if she doesn't, she doesn't. It's only once a week for 20 minutes so it's not happening all the time. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    Re. masks, has she tried a plastic face shield (that fasten around the top of the head) instead?  I find those much more comfortable, easier to keep clean and, for the wearer at least, they also protect the eyes.  Some claim they are not as Covid-protective overall as a mask but I think they're a good compromise and anyone who is autistic can claim valid exemption from wearing an actual mask.

  • in reply to HumbleBumble
    HumbleBumble said:
    how long is the journey?

    It's around 20/30 minutes. She knows the route like the back of her hand. She used to do it all the time but hasn't done it in years. It's only a few stops longer. She will take something like a lolly to have or her favourite sweets. 

    HumbleBumble said:
    What is the problem with the masks?

    She feels like she can't breathe easily causing her anxiety causing her to not breathe properly. She also doesn't like how when she breathes the moisture is on the inside of the mask so it gets a little wet if you know what I mean. 

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Thank you, I will definitely see if she'll do that. That's amazing.

  • in reply to HumbleBumble

    Or a cheap phone that she doesn't mind parting with at the office just to txt or call you. Nobody else needs to know she doesn't have a cool phone on a Thursday if she leaves before everyone else lol

  • Hiya, how long is the journey? I used to really hate public transport for so many reasons. I used to walk everywhere in all weather's because busses are just something I've never been able to fully manage. My daughter used to refuse due to the noise, random people, smells of other people (especially the peepee man!) Too hotm..so many reasons to hate buses! So I learnt to drive & haven't had experiences with buses for years but what I used to do is

    Find the most comfortable spot, usually 2nd or 3rd row so not right at the front so she feels obligated to move when someone older or with mobility needs get on but also not right at the back as you have to walk past people. Also if your daughter is wobbly on her feet she'll need to sit before the bus moves & be able to move quick of she's distracted bear her stop! That's anxiety inducing! 

    Look at the bus route so she knows exactly where it goes, where it stops, where she needs to reallly make sure she's paying attention so she can prepare herself to ring the bell & get off. You could print off a route map so she can refer to enroute should she need to so she knows where she is. Plan the rest of the route walking from the bus to home so she's confident on her route (also incase she misses her stop!)

    Check to bus route before hand to make sure the road isn't closed & there are no diversions! Diversions have always been a massive source of panic for me even though I know my way around. It's the fact that I hadn't planned to go that way that causes me panic!

    Could you maybe do the route with her a couple of times so she can get used to it?

    Whilst she's on the bus she could look for certain things...how many white cars, how many blue front doors, how many dogs, something to keep her brain occupied & away from the horror of public transport! 

    Suck a mint...it might help to keep her focus on staying calm. Also Bach rescue remedy...I think I said before...that stuff can work wonders for my girls. My youngest calls them her don't get stroppy suckies.

    What is the problem with the masks? Is it the feeling of it on her face or being restricted or does she feel like she can't breathe properly? 

    Could she get a smart watch that she can call off of if she needed to?

  • My father used to say "sometimes it's necessary to do things we don't want to" (obviously this does not apply for abusive situations). But it's a little thing I repeat to myself when I don't want to go down 3 flights of stairs late at night to leave a few milk bottles but must. 

    Ideally it sounds like she feels unprotected, but willing to be respectful to others.

    Perhaps she can write down responsibilities she is willing to take and ones which need sorting out to better take care of her :)

  • I forgot to mention that she doesn't find it comfortable handing her phone in to the office at school. She doesn't really want to take one but it she does she wants to keep it on her but it will most likely get damaged due to the school type.