Feel unappreciated

It takes two! Humans require nurturing and care. Not an unreasonable amount but a mindful amount. How do you express love and how does he express it? Has that changed over the years? How does he like to be appreciated and how do you like to be appreciated? And has that changed.

There's the honeymoon phase, where our pheromones, our biology, makes us wild for another person and that helps to make us feel familiar around a complete stranger. In the best of all worlds, we do little things each day to show kindness and respect and we grow into 'Loving" one another. Then, as time goes on, a life is built and this person becomes indispensable. They are so worth giving up freedom for because life would be boring and less worthwhile without them.

The worst case is we don't care for one another's basic needs, we don't better ourselves, we don't choose kindness because cruelty feels more fun. And every day, with a little help from contempt and selfishness, we destroy the other. 

What can happen when we don't understand the other is mistake our partner for being critical when they're analysing a process or complex problem. Or when we think they aren't caring about our feelings because they're lost in thought or overwhelmed by finances, by harsh and difficult surroundings, by feeling disrespected. 

It's best to ask how is this person helping me and how am I helping them. A man with Aspergers can learn to be critical about things and not his significant other. He can fix the house so it's not overloading his senses. He can learn to ask for what he needs and how he can help you. You can also learn to be direct about what you need and be direct about how you can help him. If you're both willing to learn to become the most dependable person in each others life, then it matters not whether you are neuro-typical or neuro-divergent. 

It takes two! Humans require nurturing and care. Not an unreasonable amount but a mindful amount. How do you express love and how does he express it? Has that changed over the years? How does he like to be appreciated and how do you like to be appreciated? And has that changed.

There's the honeymoon phase, where our pheromones, our biology, makes us wild for another person and that helps to make us feel familiar around a complete stranger. In the best of all worlds, we do little things each day to show kindness and respect and we grow into 'Loving" one another. Then, as time goes on, a life is built and this person becomes indispensable. They are so worth giving up freedom for because life would be boring and less worthwhile without them.

The worst case is we don't care for one another's basic needs, we don't better ourselves, we don't choose kindness because cruelty feels more fun. And every day, with a little help from contempt and selfishness, we destroy the other. 

What can happen when we don't understand the other is mistake our partner for being critical when they're analysing a process or complex problem. Or when we think they aren't caring about our feelings because they're lost in thought or overwhelmed by finances, by harsh and difficult surroundings, by feeling disrespected. 

It's best to ask how is this person helping me and how am I helping them. A man with Aspergers can learn to be critical about things and not his significant other. He can fix the house so it's not overloading his senses. He can learn to ask for what he needs and how he can help you. You can also learn to be direct about what you need and be direct about how you can help him. If you're both willing to learn to become the most dependable person in each others life, then it matters not whether you are neuro-typical or neuro-divergent.