Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi NAS Community,
My son E (age 5 with ASD diagnosis) has struggled when his routine is disrupted by school holidays. This seems to have become more of an issue every time the holidays come round.
E's mood can swing sharply, usually when he makes a request that we can't/won't accommodate. This often occurs on an evening when he is feeling tired.
When he becomes upset he tries to hit me/mum and tries to throw things. When upset he often says 'I want to chuck toys'. It can also be challenging to get E out of the house if he is not in the correct mood.
The last three days E has become very upset at bedtime, and had melt downs that last a couple of hours until he is so tired he falls asleep. The trigger last night was that I wouldn't let him go back downstairs (even when I gave in and we did he was still upset).
We have a visual timetable to show what we are doing each day and another one to check off the days til E is back at school.
Any suggestions/tips on how to support E through school hols would be really appreciated.
Kind regards,
Matt
Hi, I would suggest having a routine that is similar to school, up at the same time, washed and dressed, planned activities, breaks and lunch. Does E have any particular interests such as animals, trains or dinosaurs? That can be used to stimulate his learning. Have a look on Twinkl also, some resources are free, and they could give you ideas. There's also a lot of there to do with emotions. Perhaps a display where he can select or point to an emotion would help E to understand his feelings. If space is available you could try creating a quiet space, somewhere to take him or that he can go to ( not his bedroom). This will help him to learn how to manage difficult feelings. Place toys or items in the space that suit his sensory needs. I hope some of this helps.
You need to be very careful of not allowing him to set the time table - life is so much stress that the more we can control it down to a minimum, the happier we think we are - so he will try to dominate all of your actions to his satisfaction - don't allow it or you'll get a bigger, stronger, wilful monster in a few years. He needs to learn 'it's happening' even if he disagrees with it. As long as you can build a pattern of 'it's happening' whether he likes it or not but it always ends up as a nice surprise, he'll get with the program.
Why not sit with him and find educational stuff on youtube rather than mindless tv? There's so many nerdy channels showing so many weird and exciting things that you can open his mind to the edges and corners of the world - give him the thirst for knowledge..
We don't have a daily routine but do try to manage his expectations for the day with a visual timetable.
E tries to watch a lot of TV, but we enforce time without.
We go out to the park or similar every day, E also likes to burn off energy on his trampoline.
To challenge E we use lego and similar construction toys. We do crafts and bake/cook, which he enjoys if in the mood.
New experiences have been challenging to provide as E is reluctant. He processes visually, so I show him pictures of places I know he likes in order to get him to agree to go.
We have taken him to friends gardens this holiday period, which he hasn't done in a while. He enjoys at the time but I think he found difficult due to his behaviour later in the day.
Further to the above, E can communicate with us and is at a main stream school, however he doesn't articulate his feelings very often and very rarely negative feeling.
What routine do you slot in to replace the school routine? What methods do you use to burn off all his excess energy? What cerebral challenges or learning experiences do you put in place? What worldy experiences have you got lined up for him?
Do you take him to the woods or down to the river?
If he's just sat getting bored he''ll blow up without adult guidance to direct his inputs and outputs.