Published on 12, July, 2020
My 14 y.o daughter walked out of school earlier today. She is in a PRU so there's not many children (around 20 max).
I had a phone call from school telling me she has left school grounds. Her behaviour is deteriorating as well.
I have figured out the problem but I'm not sure how to help her. She is verbal and told me this herself. ' I don't like Project because there are 5 different teachers teaching us, they are doing things differently and doing different things in it and I have it like 10 times a week.'
She doesn't like project which I can understand. Teachers are aware of the problem and try everything to get her into the lesson (she keeps walking out or just doesn't go). The past 2 weeks, this particular lesson has affected her other lessons because today for example, her first 2 lessons were fine, then she had Project and didn't go, then had English (one of her favourites) and didn't go since she wanted to go home. She leaves at lunch which was 15 minutes away but she climbed over the gate and left. (Her teacher followed her a bit and stayed a distance away and during school she is never left alone).
She is very stressed and when I picked her up she was in tears and told me she was sorry for leaving and wanted to stop going to school altogether...
Anyways... I don't know how to help her since she wants to go to school but doesn't want to do the lesson. But if she doesn't do the lesson her timetable will be messed up so she's even more stressed about that... I keep reassuring her but I don't know how to make school better for her...
Any help, advice, ideas is very much appreciated. I'm sorry for ranting on. Thanks x
Honestly? I'm impressed. She knows her breaking point/limit and sticks to it. As a female in this society, she sounds like she can hold her ground and that is worth more than an education. When authority figures are inconsistent, incongruent, it is like being slapped on the back of head constantly. I wouldn't see if she couldn't complete what's needed with just one teacher. Or complete her work at home when it gets overwhelming. Children cannot learn in a stressful environment. What are the priorities? There will be time enough as she gets older to learn coping techniques for social nuances but this just sounds unprofessional.
Thank you, I might see if we can make the thing she was going to make in school but at home so she's still doing it. Teachers are trying with her but she's always at her breaking point and now doesn't want to go to school since it's messing up her head and her school days. I have to admit I am happy she knows when and why she's overwhelmed and how she sticks with it all day until something is done with it...
JuniperFromGallifrey said:She knows her breaking point/limit and sticks to it.
Could be. Ever since the problem first started she has started to wonder round the school or leave her classroom. This morning she asked her SENDco what lessons she has, and as soon as she heard 'Project' she walked away and when the teacher tried fixing the problem she became rude.
It sounds like she's lost trust in the teachers for some reason - like something has happened that she can't process and hasn't mentioned - maybe something conflicting with her basic programming..