Published on 12, July, 2020
My 14 y.o daughter walked out of school earlier today. She is in a PRU so there's not many children (around 20 max).
I had a phone call from school telling me she has left school grounds. Her behaviour is deteriorating as well.
I have figured out the problem but I'm not sure how to help her. She is verbal and told me this herself. ' I don't like Project because there are 5 different teachers teaching us, they are doing things differently and doing different things in it and I have it like 10 times a week.'
She doesn't like project which I can understand. Teachers are aware of the problem and try everything to get her into the lesson (she keeps walking out or just doesn't go). The past 2 weeks, this particular lesson has affected her other lessons because today for example, her first 2 lessons were fine, then she had Project and didn't go, then had English (one of her favourites) and didn't go since she wanted to go home. She leaves at lunch which was 15 minutes away but she climbed over the gate and left. (Her teacher followed her a bit and stayed a distance away and during school she is never left alone).
She is very stressed and when I picked her up she was in tears and told me she was sorry for leaving and wanted to stop going to school altogether...
Anyways... I don't know how to help her since she wants to go to school but doesn't want to do the lesson. But if she doesn't do the lesson her timetable will be messed up so she's even more stressed about that... I keep reassuring her but I don't know how to make school better for her...
Any help, advice, ideas is very much appreciated. I'm sorry for ranting on. Thanks x
From her point of you it sounds a nightmare , PRU aren't autistic friendly . She needs a proper placement ,with properly trained staff.
may i ask what project is ?
Project is basically like history and they learn about the past and make things. This school have a few people with autism in and in my opinion they are pretty good with it and have good training.
With all respect your daughter is jumping over the gate and in tears. Would the school let her skip this lesson .?
My 14 year old is like that glued to my arm when out ,she is really sensory ,sound ,smell ,light ,touch . She says she wants to live in a house in the garden when older . will probably try to get her in a private school ,if we can find a good one, when she is ready.
I gravitated towards the losers in school, but still had an air of respectability towards the normal kids. Now, in my adult years, I feel that I have the best of both worlds.
I'm working with the teachers with messages about how her day was. And I'm listening to what my daughter would like and following my gut at the same time...
Its very hard coping, not knowing what to do for the best ,do you listen to the "experts " or not ,do you follow your gut feeling ,is it your fault [which it isn't] .
But if she is getting worse and things are going down hill ,you need to change the direction and create the right environment for her ,whether she stays there,moves school ,or home school. She is her ,you can't change that.
That's great that you're all still friends
I created a huge extrovert fake persona (my mask) in my teens so I attracted all the other nerdy aspies - we were all undiagnosed (it was the late 70s) but we fitted well together - I'm still friends with all of them over 40 years later and we all meet up once a year at Christmas.
That is definitely true. She does seem to be herself most of the time since she has another 2 people her age with autism in her class with her so they all feel comfortable together even though they are different obviously.
We are waiting a place at another school but this school is fine for her altogether at the moment.... She sees her 1 lesson on a Monday but otherwise she always get checked up on by her and her office is always open and it's opposite my daughters room luckily. But I agree it's not the place for her but they do have many special needs students so they have experience and are amazing, supportive and helpful with her.