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Autism Empty nest

NAS72054

Hi, I’m new on here & really hope someone can offer some advice. My daughter received her ASD diagnosis at age 13 & as a single parent I had to navigate my way learning as I went. Her dad was never interested interested, even telling me he didn’t want to discuss autism but would look it up on the internet. 
At 16 she went to live with her dad who claims she no longer has any traits & is independent & ready for university life. She has been in contact with me less & less and today told me that she wants to cut all ties with me & doesn’t want me in her life anymore. Prior to this we were having a relaxed conversation, smiling & reminiscing, suddenly she switched to a complete lack of emotion to deliver the news, but left smiling again.

I am at a complete loss at what to do next. She has blocked all of my contact, removed herself from anyone associated with me & appears to think that because she has not seen people for over 12 months (due to COVID) it no longer matters if they are in her life or not. 
has anyone had any similar experiences or any advice. 

Parents

  • Considering her father was quite dismissive of your daughter's autism diagnosis (he's not interested in autism and would not discuss it, and after your daughter lived with him, he tells you that she has no more autistic traits), I don't think her father actually believes in autism or is not convinced by it.

    Perhaps in his mind, he sees his daughter as completely normal, and that nothing is wrong with her, that he described her as having no more autistic traits, that she is independent, and ready for university, as she is so normal that she can't possibly be autistic. Perhaps he has a negative view on autism. 

    Perhaps he's trying to protect his daughter from having such a diagnosis tarnish her future. Perhaps he sees you as the "bad" parent for wanting your daughter to be labelled with such a thing as "autism," and has convinced your daughter to cut ties to you and have nothing to do with you.

    It could be that her father has autistic traits himself, and therefore sees his daughter as being completely normal and that there's nothing wrong with her. Or her father is very controlling and wants your daughter to cut all ties to anyone she knows so he'll be in full control of her. But I don't know either of them so I don't know what he or she is actually thinking.

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  • Considering her father was quite dismissive of your daughter's autism diagnosis (he's not interested in autism and would not discuss it, and after your daughter lived with him, he tells you that she has no more autistic traits), I don't think her father actually believes in autism or is not convinced by it.

    Perhaps in his mind, he sees his daughter as completely normal, and that nothing is wrong with her, that he described her as having no more autistic traits, that she is independent, and ready for university, as she is so normal that she can't possibly be autistic. Perhaps he has a negative view on autism. 

    Perhaps he's trying to protect his daughter from having such a diagnosis tarnish her future. Perhaps he sees you as the "bad" parent for wanting your daughter to be labelled with such a thing as "autism," and has convinced your daughter to cut ties to you and have nothing to do with you.

    It could be that her father has autistic traits himself, and therefore sees his daughter as being completely normal and that there's nothing wrong with her. Or her father is very controlling and wants your daughter to cut all ties to anyone she knows so he'll be in full control of her. But I don't know either of them so I don't know what he or she is actually thinking.

Children
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