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Daughter found wandering distressed at side of main road

HappyDays

Im in shock, can it really get any worse, i have today recieved a phone call from my daughter very upset i couldnt really understand whatt she was saying so i panicked and jumped in the car and sped off towards school, thank god i did, i found her wandering in a very distressed state down a main road either side of which there are steep drops into thick woods. It would appear that the teacher at school has yet again been shouting at her, not only shouting but this time has allowed another member of the class to openly mock her and done nothing. Cruel act. 

on bringing her home she has settled to bed and is emotionally exhausted, i have contacted school who were not even aware she was not there any more but am still waiting for their official response to all this which will no doubt be a load of lies concocted to cover themselves.

Problem here is she has no formal diagnosis even though every difficulty she has screams autism and she has siblings who are diagnosed, and she is under assesment the school is an early academy and does not want to accept that it may cost them something to help her so refuse to aknowledege the difficulties she has.

I am so angry im shaking, what if a car had hit her? the only reason she was out there in the first place is because they are bloody useless, what on earth are they putting us through this?

I am refusing to take her back now untill they have aknowledged that they are leaving her at a massive disadvantage and thoroughly confused,and it would seem allowing her to be placed in danger, her safety has to come first and it would seem that they cannot guarantee that, no doubt ill have the truancy officer round next and have all that to deal with as well

This is all so wrong and unfair, and im tired of them makimg me out to be a bad mum because i disagree with them.

Im so sorry for ranting, but with other diagnosed children i see no end to it all, no end to the ignorant schools whos only interest are their league table results.

Parents

  • Friday 1st Feb, 12.15pm, received phone call from attendance team to say they were sending my son home from school. He had been internally truanting all morning, when approached by a teacher he kicked cupboard door. This then lead the school excluding him for the rest of the day.

    My concern was that I was unable to go and collect him, due to work commitments. He was allowed out of school. I then received a text from him saying he was not coming home (this is the 2nd time in 8wks) due to school. It took us two hrs to finally get him to tell us where he was so we could bring him home. During this time I had to come out of work, I was also trying school to speak to SMT to discuss my son’s safety concerns with them. It took a member of SMT 3, 1/2hrs to ring me back.

    I went through my concerns;

     Sending my son home without adult supervision (parents), while he is in a distressed state, EP report highlights his vulnerability.

     Who had safeguarded my son’s welfare in school? If we has parents sent our son in school in a distressed state give his vulnerability, school would involve social services to express their concerns.

    He had spent best part of last 3 days internally truanting that week, again who is safeguarding my son then. If he is out of lessons due to not being able to cope, who is looking after him?

    The pressure he must be under mentally at these points when he is walking out class and wandering the school.

    I then asked for meeting with SENCO and a member of SMT, along with our parent partnership officer.

    We had the meeting 5/2/13.

    Discussed that since our son went to secondary school 18months ago he’s not settled and now his behaviour is deteriorating daily and their role in safeguarding him.

    He did not behave like this in primary school, I had his reports to prove it.

    ME-It is known that children who lack social and communication skills, that this can present for the first time in secondary school.

    SENCO- there are times when he’s been settled, he is choosing to behave like this.

    SMT-no, i agree with mum.

    ME- I showed all current reports from secondary school past 18months. All show behaviour and homework, cause for concern but grades average. I asked how a child is likely to achieve these grades if their behaviour is cause for concern, surely a if a child is miss behaving he will not be able to take in the lesson. Our son is not receiving the education he is entitled to.

    SENCO- you have expressed concerns that your son is isolating and does not have friends, I see him round school all the time with a group having fun and laughing.

    ME- it is known that children, who lack social and communication skills, will do almost anything to get appetence from a group in order to have friends. Some of the reason why certain groups will not accept them is because they don’t have the social skills to fit in, so they will seek out peers who are not the most appropriate role models. These school friends never call on for him, he stays in more than he goes out.

    SMT- I agree with mum.

    To cut a long story short.

    The SENCO in my opinion is saying that our son is choosing to behave like this, they have seen him get his head down and do work, he as at times settled in school, he does have friends they have seen him, he chooses what lessons he wants to do, he uses saying he will run away to get what he wants, he can give eye contact, he knows what’s right and wrong, these are normal childhood behaviours, I am comparing him to my other children, we are doing everything we can.

    The deterioration clearly shows that it’s not working and how long are we going to keep coming back to the same points, he is 18months into this school and with nothing but bad experience to show.

    It was put back to SMT to how they are going to support our son in order for him to receive his education.

    Although they have been concerned enough to pay for EP report they seem to be choosing to implement or ignore when suits.  

    Outcome;

    If  they are going to exclude him from school, he will not be allow out until one of us have picked him up. Internally truanting he will have a teacher with him at all times.

    TA will contact me each evening by e-mail with daily report.

    Named TA and SMT to directly deal with him.

    We now have ILP in place and on paper it look s good, I do think some the problems are down to how the teachers speak and approach him.

     All staff to updated on his IEP.      

    We have become aware that he has a strong sense of injustice and the teachers are not consistent with their approach.

    I also put together some info for the teachers to read on what different approaches could achieve or help with, not sure if it is in the bin but I will do anything to get the support for our son to receive his education.

    He constantly text me telling me that his day is not going so well.

    I am worried what this is doing to his mental health and feel this behaviour cannot continue until we receive input from CAMHS. I do believe he will be excluded from that school by then.

    We have another meeting planned 1/3/13.

     

Reply

  • Friday 1st Feb, 12.15pm, received phone call from attendance team to say they were sending my son home from school. He had been internally truanting all morning, when approached by a teacher he kicked cupboard door. This then lead the school excluding him for the rest of the day.

    My concern was that I was unable to go and collect him, due to work commitments. He was allowed out of school. I then received a text from him saying he was not coming home (this is the 2nd time in 8wks) due to school. It took us two hrs to finally get him to tell us where he was so we could bring him home. During this time I had to come out of work, I was also trying school to speak to SMT to discuss my son’s safety concerns with them. It took a member of SMT 3, 1/2hrs to ring me back.

    I went through my concerns;

     Sending my son home without adult supervision (parents), while he is in a distressed state, EP report highlights his vulnerability.

     Who had safeguarded my son’s welfare in school? If we has parents sent our son in school in a distressed state give his vulnerability, school would involve social services to express their concerns.

    He had spent best part of last 3 days internally truanting that week, again who is safeguarding my son then. If he is out of lessons due to not being able to cope, who is looking after him?

    The pressure he must be under mentally at these points when he is walking out class and wandering the school.

    I then asked for meeting with SENCO and a member of SMT, along with our parent partnership officer.

    We had the meeting 5/2/13.

    Discussed that since our son went to secondary school 18months ago he’s not settled and now his behaviour is deteriorating daily and their role in safeguarding him.

    He did not behave like this in primary school, I had his reports to prove it.

    ME-It is known that children who lack social and communication skills, that this can present for the first time in secondary school.

    SENCO- there are times when he’s been settled, he is choosing to behave like this.

    SMT-no, i agree with mum.

    ME- I showed all current reports from secondary school past 18months. All show behaviour and homework, cause for concern but grades average. I asked how a child is likely to achieve these grades if their behaviour is cause for concern, surely a if a child is miss behaving he will not be able to take in the lesson. Our son is not receiving the education he is entitled to.

    SENCO- you have expressed concerns that your son is isolating and does not have friends, I see him round school all the time with a group having fun and laughing.

    ME- it is known that children, who lack social and communication skills, will do almost anything to get appetence from a group in order to have friends. Some of the reason why certain groups will not accept them is because they don’t have the social skills to fit in, so they will seek out peers who are not the most appropriate role models. These school friends never call on for him, he stays in more than he goes out.

    SMT- I agree with mum.

    To cut a long story short.

    The SENCO in my opinion is saying that our son is choosing to behave like this, they have seen him get his head down and do work, he as at times settled in school, he does have friends they have seen him, he chooses what lessons he wants to do, he uses saying he will run away to get what he wants, he can give eye contact, he knows what’s right and wrong, these are normal childhood behaviours, I am comparing him to my other children, we are doing everything we can.

    The deterioration clearly shows that it’s not working and how long are we going to keep coming back to the same points, he is 18months into this school and with nothing but bad experience to show.

    It was put back to SMT to how they are going to support our son in order for him to receive his education.

    Although they have been concerned enough to pay for EP report they seem to be choosing to implement or ignore when suits.  

    Outcome;

    If  they are going to exclude him from school, he will not be allow out until one of us have picked him up. Internally truanting he will have a teacher with him at all times.

    TA will contact me each evening by e-mail with daily report.

    Named TA and SMT to directly deal with him.

    We now have ILP in place and on paper it look s good, I do think some the problems are down to how the teachers speak and approach him.

     All staff to updated on his IEP.      

    We have become aware that he has a strong sense of injustice and the teachers are not consistent with their approach.

    I also put together some info for the teachers to read on what different approaches could achieve or help with, not sure if it is in the bin but I will do anything to get the support for our son to receive his education.

    He constantly text me telling me that his day is not going so well.

    I am worried what this is doing to his mental health and feel this behaviour cannot continue until we receive input from CAMHS. I do believe he will be excluded from that school by then.

    We have another meeting planned 1/3/13.

     

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