Daughter found wandering distressed at side of main road

Im in shock, can it really get any worse, i have today recieved a phone call from my daughter very upset i couldnt really understand whatt she was saying so i panicked and jumped in the car and sped off towards school, thank god i did, i found her wandering in a very distressed state down a main road either side of which there are steep drops into thick woods. It would appear that the teacher at school has yet again been shouting at her, not only shouting but this time has allowed another member of the class to openly mock her and done nothing. Cruel act. 

on bringing her home she has settled to bed and is emotionally exhausted, i have contacted school who were not even aware she was not there any more but am still waiting for their official response to all this which will no doubt be a load of lies concocted to cover themselves.

Problem here is she has no formal diagnosis even though every difficulty she has screams autism and she has siblings who are diagnosed, and she is under assesment the school is an early academy and does not want to accept that it may cost them something to help her so refuse to aknowledege the difficulties she has.

I am so angry im shaking, what if a car had hit her? the only reason she was out there in the first place is because they are bloody useless, what on earth are they putting us through this?

I am refusing to take her back now untill they have aknowledged that they are leaving her at a massive disadvantage and thoroughly confused,and it would seem allowing her to be placed in danger, her safety has to come first and it would seem that they cannot guarantee that, no doubt ill have the truancy officer round next and have all that to deal with as well

This is all so wrong and unfair, and im tired of them makimg me out to be a bad mum because i disagree with them.

Im so sorry for ranting, but with other diagnosed children i see no end to it all, no end to the ignorant schools whos only interest are their league table results.

Parents
  • Oh I feel for you so very much.  You have already been given loads of good advice.  I also recommend going to your GP to talk about your daughters distressed state and tell him you are concerned about her mental health, he should give you a referral straight to camhs (although you mention you are aleady in touch with them?)

    We were in a similar situation waiting for referrals for our son last year (he is 13 now and could not/can still not cope with school).  Eventually after a year of suffering the school though he might be depressed so we contacted the GP to get the ball rolling.  What we also did was contact MIND a mental health charity who gave us the name of a private counsellor because we really felt we could not wait for camhs to book us in.  He went along and after two sessions the counsellor thought that he had ASD (after a year of a school with a supposed ASD special Unit not noticing!!!)  We then got our GP to get the ball rolling to get him diagnosed properly.  This is still ongoing and is taking AGES! (that is another long long story).

    It took a very bad experience at school with a teacher for our son to come out (on his doctors recommendations) and it does seem now to be what has got things moving on for us.  So perhaps what has happend will be the catalyst for you to now make things better for your daughter.

    We had our son at home for 8 weeks without any educational provision despite our best efforts to get them to do something!  We now have home tuition but my goodness we had to fight for it!

    If you can get your doctor to recommend that your daughter does not attend school for the sake of her mental health then you will get the welfare people etc off your back and the onus will be on the Education Authority to provide your daughter with the education to which she is entitled.

    Good luck, I wish there was more I could say to help you but at least you know that on this forum there are lots of us who can really appreaciate and understand how it is for you and be here with advice and comfort where we can.

    take care

    MARY

Reply
  • Oh I feel for you so very much.  You have already been given loads of good advice.  I also recommend going to your GP to talk about your daughters distressed state and tell him you are concerned about her mental health, he should give you a referral straight to camhs (although you mention you are aleady in touch with them?)

    We were in a similar situation waiting for referrals for our son last year (he is 13 now and could not/can still not cope with school).  Eventually after a year of suffering the school though he might be depressed so we contacted the GP to get the ball rolling.  What we also did was contact MIND a mental health charity who gave us the name of a private counsellor because we really felt we could not wait for camhs to book us in.  He went along and after two sessions the counsellor thought that he had ASD (after a year of a school with a supposed ASD special Unit not noticing!!!)  We then got our GP to get the ball rolling to get him diagnosed properly.  This is still ongoing and is taking AGES! (that is another long long story).

    It took a very bad experience at school with a teacher for our son to come out (on his doctors recommendations) and it does seem now to be what has got things moving on for us.  So perhaps what has happend will be the catalyst for you to now make things better for your daughter.

    We had our son at home for 8 weeks without any educational provision despite our best efforts to get them to do something!  We now have home tuition but my goodness we had to fight for it!

    If you can get your doctor to recommend that your daughter does not attend school for the sake of her mental health then you will get the welfare people etc off your back and the onus will be on the Education Authority to provide your daughter with the education to which she is entitled.

    Good luck, I wish there was more I could say to help you but at least you know that on this forum there are lots of us who can really appreaciate and understand how it is for you and be here with advice and comfort where we can.

    take care

    MARY

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