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Daughter found wandering distressed at side of main road

HappyDays

Im in shock, can it really get any worse, i have today recieved a phone call from my daughter very upset i couldnt really understand whatt she was saying so i panicked and jumped in the car and sped off towards school, thank god i did, i found her wandering in a very distressed state down a main road either side of which there are steep drops into thick woods. It would appear that the teacher at school has yet again been shouting at her, not only shouting but this time has allowed another member of the class to openly mock her and done nothing. Cruel act. 

on bringing her home she has settled to bed and is emotionally exhausted, i have contacted school who were not even aware she was not there any more but am still waiting for their official response to all this which will no doubt be a load of lies concocted to cover themselves.

Problem here is she has no formal diagnosis even though every difficulty she has screams autism and she has siblings who are diagnosed, and she is under assesment the school is an early academy and does not want to accept that it may cost them something to help her so refuse to aknowledege the difficulties she has.

I am so angry im shaking, what if a car had hit her? the only reason she was out there in the first place is because they are bloody useless, what on earth are they putting us through this?

I am refusing to take her back now untill they have aknowledged that they are leaving her at a massive disadvantage and thoroughly confused,and it would seem allowing her to be placed in danger, her safety has to come first and it would seem that they cannot guarantee that, no doubt ill have the truancy officer round next and have all that to deal with as well

This is all so wrong and unfair, and im tired of them makimg me out to be a bad mum because i disagree with them.

Im so sorry for ranting, but with other diagnosed children i see no end to it all, no end to the ignorant schools whos only interest are their league table results.

Parents

  • There are a few things you need to do to help get this sorted now.  One is to contact the county and let them know what has happened.  If you do not, there is a danger that you could get in trouble for not sending your child to school.  Another thing you need to do is to contact the school governers and let them be aware that your child disappeared off school grounds, without any staff knowing and was in a distressed state.  The school has a duty of care, which they have clearly breeched. 

    It is possible that they will try to turn it around and be your child's fault.  However, because your child was off school grounds for I am assuming an extended period of time, and they were unaware, they are clearly at fault over that and no matter how much they try to turn it around they can not get out of that.

    Another thing I would do is to contact the educational psychology department directly.  Parental referalls are usually allowed, and given what has just happened, it is possible that they will allow your refferal.  

    Assuming that she is suffering from anxiety, and anger/depression, you can also go to your GP to at least get it on the record.  It would be even more helpful if you have documented incidents and episodes to show it is not a new one off thing, but a long term problem.

    You may also want to directly contact CAHMS explaining to incident that occured.

    In the long run, it could be that the really horrid experiance your daughter went through could be what it took to get the professionals to screen her for ASD, so some good can come out of it.  

    But the main thing is to contact as many appropriate agencies as possible as soon as possible as what you have described in terms of your daughter's reaction and the schools breech of duty of care, reagrdless of what the school says actually took place or not (in that having an ASD child myself I am aware that their perception is not always in line with the school's), are serious enough to get the attention of many professionals.

Reply

  • There are a few things you need to do to help get this sorted now.  One is to contact the county and let them know what has happened.  If you do not, there is a danger that you could get in trouble for not sending your child to school.  Another thing you need to do is to contact the school governers and let them be aware that your child disappeared off school grounds, without any staff knowing and was in a distressed state.  The school has a duty of care, which they have clearly breeched. 

    It is possible that they will try to turn it around and be your child's fault.  However, because your child was off school grounds for I am assuming an extended period of time, and they were unaware, they are clearly at fault over that and no matter how much they try to turn it around they can not get out of that.

    Another thing I would do is to contact the educational psychology department directly.  Parental referalls are usually allowed, and given what has just happened, it is possible that they will allow your refferal.  

    Assuming that she is suffering from anxiety, and anger/depression, you can also go to your GP to at least get it on the record.  It would be even more helpful if you have documented incidents and episodes to show it is not a new one off thing, but a long term problem.

    You may also want to directly contact CAHMS explaining to incident that occured.

    In the long run, it could be that the really horrid experiance your daughter went through could be what it took to get the professionals to screen her for ASD, so some good can come out of it.  

    But the main thing is to contact as many appropriate agencies as possible as soon as possible as what you have described in terms of your daughter's reaction and the schools breech of duty of care, reagrdless of what the school says actually took place or not (in that having an ASD child myself I am aware that their perception is not always in line with the school's), are serious enough to get the attention of many professionals.

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