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My son had a visit from someone from the Early Years Team - opinions?

Secto

My boy who is 4 has aspergers, he currently struggles socially and finds it difficult at his school. He's very intelligent for his age, his main interests are reading and learning. He fears going in to school and obssesses about seeing certain kids and panics every day and meltdowns after school. He has quite a lot of trouble paying attention and making / keeping friends. He gets picked on already.. he's also very easy to upset and sensitive.

I have a feeling it will just get worse as he gets older (it doesn't help that he's ginger either.. doh! :) There is a school just a few minutes away which is for children with asperger and asd's. I gave it a lot of thought and maybe this could be a good option for him.

I spoke to his school about it, who got in touch with 'The Early Years Team' and a lady came in and saw my boy for an hour to see how he was getting on. We had a chat afterwards, and she basically said:

She didn't think he has aspergers and not to be concerned and that he was a very nice and clever boy. Also one of the first things she said to me was the problem could be me and not actually him, and suggested maybe going to a Parents Group to get some advice on parenting..

I found this a bit offensive, and she decided all of this after being there for 1 hour and after talking to me for a few minutes. She mentioned my boy seems happy at school, which lead on to a conversation about me saying he's a lot different in different circumstances to how he is at home and to how he is being shy at school etc. She then claimed people with Aspergers act the same - whether they are at home or school. I found this very bizarre statement.

I'm a bit lost for what to do next? I was also a bit lost for words whilst speaking to this lady.


Any help would be really appreciated!

Thankyou!

Parents

  • I can't believe that such arrogance still exists!. You must, quite rightly, feel very angry with this woman and upset - as I would myself if this happened to me. Aspergers is an 'invisible' condition, and we often bottle up our feelings, only to vent them when we get home. I was labelled 'shy' at that age, teachers called me 'an enigma', but thought I was a nice little girl who was simply emotionally and physically immature. I only got diagnosed a couple of years ago.

    My parents felt as though they were being blamed, too, and my mother was given Early Learning books to teach me basic maths and handwriting. She felt as though she should do more, which let the school off the hook.

    If you ask me, this woman you mention should not be practising if she comes out with things like this. You would do well to complain - I would.

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  • I can't believe that such arrogance still exists!. You must, quite rightly, feel very angry with this woman and upset - as I would myself if this happened to me. Aspergers is an 'invisible' condition, and we often bottle up our feelings, only to vent them when we get home. I was labelled 'shy' at that age, teachers called me 'an enigma', but thought I was a nice little girl who was simply emotionally and physically immature. I only got diagnosed a couple of years ago.

    My parents felt as though they were being blamed, too, and my mother was given Early Learning books to teach me basic maths and handwriting. She felt as though she should do more, which let the school off the hook.

    If you ask me, this woman you mention should not be practising if she comes out with things like this. You would do well to complain - I would.

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