My daughter is almost 3, and starting pre-school after Easter. Up until now she has not gone to nursery, and prior to lockdown had regular outings to playgroups, etc.
Since lockdown we have been going to the swings regularly, which she loves. We meet a couple of other kids her age once a week - the two other girls play together, and try to include my daughter, but she prefers to do her own thing. I have noticed her zoning out a lot on the swings and the roundabout seat. This weekend she wanted to go to the park, but as soon as I mentioned an old best friend of hers was coming (she hasn't seen in ages) she totally freaked out, said she wanted to go to a different park. She got so upset. She usually walks to the park, but the only way I got her to agree to go out was to take her pushchair. She freaked out again as we met our friends, and shouted continuously she wanted to go home. She finally stopped shouting, but just totally withdrew into herself and didn't get out of her pushchair, despite her friend wanting her to play. The second we left the swings, she got out the pushchair and walked happily home!
She also refused to go on any play equipment if any other children are on it - foe example, she will start to walk up the slide ladder, but then if another child appears she will ask me to get her off. One time a very long time ago a friend came to the house with her daughter (pre lockdown) and she sat on my lap the whole time on the boob, didn't even look up. This was way before lockdown, so I don't think it's just a lockdown thing in her case.
At home, she is hugely into imaginative play and role playing day to day things, like going to the park, swimming, etc. She is very fixed on how things are done: e.g. the door always needs to be closed, her cushion needs to be in a set way when breastfeeding, etc. She is very sensitive to lights. There are certain things only mummy can do, and daddy can do - sometimes these change, it's up to her at the time! If we don't submit to this, she gets very angry!
My husband shows a huge amount of high functioning autistic traits too, has always preferred his own company, and likes things done in a set way. He has an amazing memory, has synasthesia for colours as numbers, and goes through weeks long cycles of different obsessions (fish keeping, music, football manager, health). Having done a lot of research and online tests etc, my husband is in agreement that he is.
My daughter is due to start pre-school after Easter, and she is clearly anxious about this. She avoids the topic. I have bought a book about it, and she has only asked to read it a few times. We will only get an hour of a settling in session, and I am really worried now about how hard she will find it. I know it's normal for any kid to be anxious about it, but she will struggle more. Once she has settled in, and can do her own thing there, I think she will love it - she is so bright, and having that nonstop play and different things to do will be great for her. I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice about how to best prepare her for it - role play (if she will let me!), walking to see the building and garden, etc. Any other ideas? Since this weekend's episode, it has made me even more certain she is on the spectrum (especially as her dad clearly is). Thanks so much in advance.
