my 11 yr old son who is aspergers and very introverted goes to secondary school in september i am terrified he will be targeted by bullies. there is an asd unit in the school but will that stop him from being attacked? i would like to know if anyone thinks home schooling is a better option or do i let him attend mainstream school? im just worried he will have real problems there. i would appreciate any advice thanks.
this is is in response to all who gave advice on homeschooling or mainstream school its all been invaluable and i have since found an excellent high school locallly which has a brilliant asd unit and learning support base with lsas apppointed to each child he willacess the main school part of the day with his lsa accompanying him he can arrrive and leave school earlier and have breaks in the base with his teachers,however if he does not settle i will take him out and partailly home school himat the moment hes quite looking forward to going and i feel very reasssured hell be happy,thanks to alll for your advice and questions to ask they were very helpful.
I definitely recommend that you try out home education. If your son does go to secondary school and is unhappy there or is bullied then please do not force him to go but allow him to be HE. Bullying is very bad in secondary schools and most children with AS have difficulty fitting in. There are many adults with AS who are permanently scarred from their experiences at school.
I was home educated for most of my secondary school years but still managed to get into college at 16 with no GCSEs which resulted in 3 A grade A Levels in maths and science subjects.
Personally I think that the secondary school curriculum is overrated because most of it is either irrelevant to life as an adult or can be easily learnt at home from the internet and readily available textbooks. If your son wants to take GCSEs then it is possible to do so as an independent candidate at any age.
A lot of parents worry about social skills but the true reality is that much of the social skills learnt in school are those required to relate to one's classmates rather than to people in the real world. There is even an article written about this. One of the biggest misconceptions is falling into a trap of thinking that if a child gets the social skills 'right' for life as a teenager in school, then it will systematically mean that the social skills are right for life as an adult in 10 or 20 years time. It doesn't work like this.
The NAS does not recommend HE because of the decisions of its leaders but you will find plenty of support and advice elsewhere. There are thriving HE communities that are increasingly welcoming children with SEN.
Well done Crystal47, maybe you should be a spokes person on this very important issue to assist others. At the end of the day I believe any parent should be able to teach there children at home, regardless of condition. Having Autism and suffered badly at school, it has left me we angst, hate and fear of organisations, dogma learning, authority, titles and socialpsychopathic children of socialpsychopathic adults. The school which I when too was no more than a childrens state prison and holding pend for the ghetto for the state, full of the little bastards. Education what was that,, oh that is something you get at private schools, or fortunately for me,, Autism with a gifted IQ. There is no state school system in the UK only holding pending whilst the parents work to pay the nanny and the mortgage trap. Society is unnatural, people are not ment to live like brainwashed TV slaves, drinking, eating and smoking poison.
Hi Crystal47,
I have read this thread with interest. I have two sons who are home educated and have been for the last 5 years. My eldest (now nearly 11) couldn't cope with reception and was bullied despite having a statement. I found the teachers had the best intentions but didn't understand autism and how to help him.
I just wanted to say that home education doesn't have to involve recreating school at home. Initially I wanted to use structured lessons and workbooks but the boys didn't want to cooperate and it caused a lot of stress. Over the last 5 years we have moved to style of education where we are all happy. It is known as unschooling or interest led education or child centred learning. We don't have workbooks. I don't set work or insist they do anything. Our only rule is that they have to use their brains in the morning so no electronic gadgets other than CD-ROMs and "Brainpop". They fill their time with things they are interested in. I write a report for my local LEA once a year and every year they have replied that they are fully satisfied with the education they are receiving. I hope this helps.
Take care.
Hi Crystal47,
I have read this thread with interest. I have two sons who are home educated and have been for the last 5 years. My eldest (now nearly 11) couldn't cope with reception and was bullied despite having a statement. I found the teachers had the best intentions but didn't understand autism and how to help him.
I just wanted to say that home education doesn't have to involve recreating school at home. Initially I wanted to use structured lessons and workbooks but the boys didn't want to cooperate and it caused a lot of stress. Over the last 5 years we have moved to style of education where we are all happy. It is known as unschooling or interest led education or child centred learning. We don't have workbooks. I don't set work or insist they do anything. Our only rule is that they have to use their brains in the morning so no electronic gadgets other than CD-ROMs and "Brainpop". They fill their time with things they are interested in. I write a report for my local LEA once a year and every year they have replied that they are fully satisfied with the education they are receiving. I hope this helps.
Take care.
hi Crystal47
i havnt been on here for some time but have just read this post and feel like i should say something. My Kids Started off in mainstream school and had to be removed due to a complete lack of knowledge and undertanding by staff at their school about ASC.
They were home educated for 5 years and did very well before returning to school the thought being that schools were now better at understanding ASC and it would benefit them socially ...OH How wrong i was, i recently spoke with a teacher who didnt wasnt able to tell me what asc was. my children are having a god awfull time, i spend most of my time in meeting after meeting defending my kids, repeating things over and over to teachers that quite frankly treat the meetings as a game of one upmanship to exhert their authority, being made to feel like every difficulty they have is down to my bad parenting. In the case of my oldest daughter even Asking teachers to avoid provoking a negative reaction by doing things like calling her an idiot and shouting in her face. i have cought out one particular teacher on more than one occasion telling lies.
My oldest daughter is in a mainstream secondary school she went into school a happy girl who had good grades, she now has massive issues with self image and is depressed and her grades have fallen. she is bullied and some of that is looking increasingly like it is by the teachers themselves, i have of course repeatedly made complaints that fall on deaf ears as the school will not aknowledge this as they then aknowledge they have a bullying problem. The school refuses to acknowledge that she is having difficulties there because at the end of the day it costs them money. If you ask me schools dont really give a damn about all the kids just the numbers that make them look good, they do as little as possible and go to great lengths to make sure they dont spend their money helping those who would probably excel if they did in fact recieve the right support...
My youngest daughter is in a special school not brilliant either in fairness no where near as bad as my oldest daughters but still teachers shouting at children with complex needs to me is a big no no. She is now refusing to attend school
This is of course all extremley stressfull for the entire family and impacts on every one of us
It is looking increasingly like they are now going to be removed from school again as i feel cruel sending them and they quite frankly were happier and did better at home.
of course not all schools are like this, im yet to come across one though. Choose very carefully if you are going to send him and speak to other parents with children in that school who also have ASC to see if and how hard it has been for them.
The second you find out what secondary school he is allocated to, call the school. Talk to the head of learners support. Find out what the school policies are. Find out what provisions they will make for your child. Some secondary schools are brilliant for it, others not so much.
Ideally, in the long run, if you find a secondary school which your child can cope with it is better than home schooling as it will help him learn to get on with others and interact with a wide range of people (as he will have to when he enters the work force). However, if the secondary school experiance is too stressful for him, then he will not learn and it would be better for him to be home schooled. The only way to know for sure if he can handle it is to let him try.
Another thing you can ask for and most school are accomidating with, is for lots of extra visits to his new school. That way he will be more familiar with it and the staff who will be working with him will get to know him. My child is well known by the school receptionist, dinner ladies, head, assistant heads, and many of the teachers...... which definitly does help as they all look out for my child.
Bullying is not an ASD specific problem, but it might help put your mind at ease to get the schools policy on bullying and some assurances that they will give him an extra level of protection.
All I can say is that when secondary works well for a child, it is too their benefit, and when it doesn't, they should not be left to suffer.
its reassuring to get advice from someone who has been in my sons shoes, i hadnt realised bullies are a bit nervous of autistic children,but i know what you mean my son would not react to it as another child would.he does get upset by the noise etc but hopefully he will learn to adapt to that as he has done at primary.thanks for your advice.
your comments are very helpful, and the questions to ask the unit are really helpful,, i will also definetly look at part time school if its possible its an excellent idea i had not thought about, but i know would suit my son well as he likes school and gains alot from the support there,but spending a little less time in the noisy disturbing environment might be of benefit too.thanks for your advice i know it will help.
I wish that my son had never gone to secondary school - BUT we didn't know about his aspergers until he had been there a year and been bullied, got depressed and referred to the mental health unit. I am sure that if you know already, and if he is going to a school with a special unit then it will be far better managed than it was for my son.
It is a massive change from primary school and he will need a lot of help and support but as he is already diagnosed you are in a far far better position than we were.
I would ask lots of questions about the transition process and how that will be managed, and have a look at the unit - is there space for him to chill out on his own if he needs to , ask what facilities there are for break and lunchtimes - key times of the day for bullying.
It is possible to do part time school and part time at home, but this has to be agreed by the head and the board of governers, sometimes this is a good compromise.
best wishes
I would try the school, you can always pull out if its bad.
I wouldnt worry too much about bullying, I wasnt bullied much, I think a lot of children are a bit afraid of auties.
Also bullies tend to want a response and a willing slave who will worship them to boost their ego, auties arent the most responsive and not good at acting the part.
Social exclusion is a much bigger problem, its hard to fit in and he will probably be upset by the noise and complexity, but if the unit gives him coaching on life skills he will learn a lot of stuff that he has to learn sometime.
