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Advice please am feeling very low

cherrylee10

Hi,

I wonder if anyone can offer any advise.  I am a single mum to 2 boys.  My youngest is 5 and has been diagnosed with ASD since he was 18 months old.  I suspect strongly that my oldest son who is 7 is also on the spectrum. My youngest son is in a mainstream school but almost every day it is reported to me that his behaviour is becoming a problem.  He is violent to pretty much anyone who looks at him the wrong way, this includes me and my other son.  He tells me every day repeatedly that he hates me and wants me to die, that he wants to kill me and stab me and other horrible things like this.  These outburts are usually if I ask him to do anything he does not want to.  He has started to leave rooms when people are eating and finds this very upsetting and has major problems with food himself.  He used to be quite affectionate but now he will not allow me to kiss him at all and will only be hugged if for comfort for himself.  He tells me all the time that he wishes I was not his mum.  

I am finding this all so hard and feel very alone.  I wish I could speak to other people who have been through similar so I know if there is anything I can do to help this.  I am sad for myself of course because I love my son so much and have done everything I possible can to make life easier for him but I really feel like he doesnt care about me at all.  Most of all I sad at where this is heading and what kind of life he will lead if he hates people so much and that one day he is going to really hurt someone.  

Please if anyone has any advise at all I would really appreciate it.

x

  • I know exactly how you feel, even though I have the support of my family, it is a very lonely road to travel when the so called professionals are not supportive and in my case blame me.  Depending on where you live, check on the family information service website for your area, in our area (warwickshire) there are quite a few services available from disability team to music therapy sessions which are apparently good for challenging behaviour, autism and a variety of other conditions.  I have recently filled an application in for this.

    We also have Parent Partnership in our area and they are good at advising in respect of getting a statement for special educational needs.

    Hope this helps,  I have a lot of info that I have downloaded from various sites etc, some of which are very useful.  I would also look into the Triple P (Positive Parenting Practice) courses as they have some very useful strategies in dealing with challenging situations using different methods. 

     

  • Hi cherrylee10 I went through the same behaviour with my daughter she would lash out at me been very abusive, It was very up setting, the only advice I would give you is to try and ignore it and give him space when he's calm talk to him about feelings how sad you were and try and stay calm, I know that's not easy, he probably picks up when your stressed. Ask the school fr help if you don't get it you should think of moving him. Good luck and your not alone

  • Hi cherrylee - this sounds so difficult for all of you.   I would feel down as well - very demoralising.  Do you think the school is doing all it can to help him because it sounds like he's having a tough time there?   What help does he get at school?   Sounds like he's very stressed out + so are everyone else.  He's only little so don't lose hope.  I've found that in the right environment with the right people things can improve a lot.  It's getting that right that can be difficult.  He sounds like he's venting his stress and frustration out on everyone so it's making life less stressful for him that shd help.