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Daughter hitting me- school return anxiety

~fiona~

My 9 year old daughter has started getting in rages and hitting me. She used to do this a lot but hasn't done for about a year now. It has started over the last few days since the news started reporting the return of schools.

During this lockdown and the last she has loved being at home and will rarely even leave the house for a walk. She doesn't like school due to friendship struggles and anxiety over the work being difficult.

She's become very controlling and when I am firm with the rules she hits me continuously, following me around the house when I'm trying to get away. It's very difficult to know what to do in this situation. Does anyone have any advice? 

Thanks 

  • HI Fiona

    I could relate to your message as I have a daughter who has a fear of school. This is actually one of her targets! She was recently been diagnosed with autism and has high anxiety. I have been on quite a journey since March 2020 with my daughter. 

    I was able to work from home during the first lockdown as the college I work in closed so i could work online with the learners. When she went back in September into Year 5 she started to have many problems. The school didn't give her the support she needed so when we went into lockdown for the third down she had many meltdowns when i told her i had to go into work this time round. I actually ended up having a month off work as i had just had Covid and found it difficult to cope with my daughter at the same time.

    From January the school started to give her emotional support on a weekly basis  just for 30 minutes. Then she has been attending just 2 days a week even though i work 3 days from early February. I also asked to work from home during this time to enable me to support her. She now has a key worker who supports her emotionally and things have improved. The school really needs to support you with this. I wasn't getting any support from March - December. The school needs to help her with her anxieties. My daughter's behaviour has changed significantly since March 2020. She has regular meltdowns - anything to do with school and having her hair brushed. These can trigger behaviour problems including hitting me, swearing at me and hitting herself with the T.V controller. You have to ignore some of the behaviour to be honest or even walk away. 

    Please make sure you get the support you need for yourself and your daughter.