Just read a post from NAS71537 and thought it was me writing!
We, too, have a19 year old son who has ASD and probably undiagnosed ADHD. He is obese, from binge eating, is depressed and frequently talks about wanting due and suicide.
He has had physically violent episodes since about 6/8 years. He has always been a high flyer educationally and applied for Cambridge and gained an interview in November 2019. Unfortunately, on the day I went the wrong direction for his interview thinking the college he was going to was a different one. Recognising this, I told my son explaining it was only 5 minutes away. However, he had a meltdown and ran off. We did get there in time but he was very heightened and came out very despondent. A few months later he subsequently heard he hadn’t got I n.
From the interview onwards there was a very quick decline into depression, suicidal threats oscillating with intense anger and abusive language and swearing at me for ruining his life. Also, into complete lack of involvement in daily living bar eating.
I then spent long time getting help through school and mental health services - not always very successfully. The school was great and got an educational psychologist involved who he got on with but this year said was only pretending. He applied again, but. Ever got down to any work despite offers if support from school etc. When he got another interview he said was prepping, but wasn’t. They delayed a week and he then did get in but was again unsuccessful. This continued the cycle of behaviours as above. finally got CAMHS involved, though he feels everything is useless and has only engaged once. He’s stopped taking anti depressants as said didn’t feel anything and had started to do some painting of figures. His sleep has always been all over the place and d en worse now. But still not engaging in basic tasks such as showering. I’m trying to focus on little positives, tiniest things; trying to witness to just feelings but he oscillates sharing with me and then the most horrid abusive language and blame - today is the latter.
so hard to keep positive; to know what to do for the best and how to support our son as well as assert boundaries for our own mental health. There seems no end in sight but also don’t know how to encourage our son to hope. He has a place @ another university but is anxious about going as further away and if doesn’t work out, but also says if he goes and enjoys it will still be awful as hell always think it would have been better at Cambridge!
Know no quick fixes, but any advice, thoughts vety gratefully received
