HELP !!!

Hi, Thank you for taking the time to reply.

My son is on his 3rd GP now, none so far seem to understand him at all. Im not sure if i start again with another or just keep going. . . . .

My son has only been on the waiting list for an Autism assessment recently so we possibly have 2 years to wait. I have thought about trying to fund a private assessment.

My son is switched off to all professionals now which makes it very difficult for him to agree to see anyone. He will just say 'whats the point, no one can help me or they would have done my now'.

I asked the GP for a referral to see a clinical psychiatrist but she didn't even discuss it. I have an appointment with her this week so will discuss further.

I hope you find a psychiatrist who understands Autism and Alexithymia and they are able to help.

It has been helpful talking to you.

Thank you.

Take care

Hi ,

Thank you for your reply.

I found it really interesting and helpful to read your reply.

He struggles to eat. Is not eating any where near what he needs. This frustrates him as he is loosing weight rapidly and hates the way he looks. He is sweating profusely , he is wet through within 5 minutes of drying his armpits and changing his t shirt. These 2 issues are really getting him down. He sees that nothing has helped or can ever help but breaks down with us asking us to help.

I just want to be able to give him some help, some glimmer that there are things to help him towards his eating/ weight loss and sweating.

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me. I really appreciate it.

Hello, I just wanted to say I really feel for you and your son.  I don't have any answers I'm afraid but I do understand that, as parents, we just want our children to be as happy as they can be, however that may present itself.  My son is 20 and was diagnosed with autism last year.  He also has Alexithymia (no thoughts or feelings), is totally locked up and isn't really functioning in daily life.  So I'm trying to see how I can help him in any way I can.  

I do agree with someone else here that your GP is being very unhelpful and unsupportive so I would definitely ask to see another one if you can.  I'm currently looking for a psychiatrist who understands autism and Alexithymia, who would be able to prescribe medication if they think my son needs it (though from what you and others say, medication often doesn't work). It's a minefield out there though and hard to know which way to turn.

Wishing you luck.  x

As an individual with autism and adhd who has also tried those medications and more i can inform you for me they didn't help the depression or anxiety and made my sensory issues as well as the depression and anxiety worse. I also tried talking therapy and Cognitive behavioral therapy among other therapies and nothing has help. Those medication made most food taste awful during and a while after taking them. So far the only medication that help me was atomoxetine which is used for ADHD.

Individuals on the autism spectrum do not always benefit from antidepressants with most people on autism spectrum antidepressants do not help with the depression and anxiety and incur a range of side effects. It's possible that these medication made thing worse if he has undiagnosed ADHD.     

I really wish I could offer some help in this area - and the causes of what your son is going through may be multi-faceted.

I can only speak from personal history and the only suggestion I can offer is that perhaps your son feels alone, in the sense that he doesn't think there's anyone who can connect with his experience of what he's going through. There may be a sense of self-protection which paradoxically means pushing away the very people who are trying to help him. There may be a need to be understood, or heard non-judgmentally and in a supportive environment but he may also not not know how or where he can do that, or if those options are there he may not feel able to do so.

I can only suggest of trying to find ways of getting him to open up and somehow be able to share his experiences, if not with yourselves, then through some other means. I found that I was only able to move in the right direction through connection with others - either through sympathetic colleagues at work who were willing to listen, this forum, or through a trained counsellor (the last I paid for privately because it was important that I had some control over who I was seeing rather than feel I was "on the rails through the system" and being steered by someone who barely knew me). That wasn't easy - I'm fiercely private and I felt I could (should) be able to manage things on my own. It was hard for me to accept I couldn't.  

There is a charity Young Minds https://youngminds.org.uk/ who may be able to help. They have a parents helpline service at https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/

There's also the NHS Every Mind Matters site https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/childrens-mental-health/ which has some additional resources for parents. 

I hope they can help. 

Best wishes.

E

I'm sorry you and your son are going through this.

Medication wise - it's a case of trial and error I'm afraid. I'm still trying different medications and I'm much older than 19. Keep on with your GP and id she is dismissing different anti-depressants then I would see another GP. Not immediately advised, but if the depression continues to be treatment-resistant try a mood stabiliser

Therapy wise - try looking at the IAPT options in your area. https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/ If you have a wellbeing in your area they offer 'Online therapy through our SilverCloud system' which means he won't have to do it face to face and I believe it starts with a 'not too intense' 6 week course that moves to a more intense course if he finds it effective.

N.B I'm due to start this in a couple of weeks so this is not a personal endorsement and maybe wishful thinking, but though a non-personal therapy may benefit your son too.