Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi All i'm new to the group
I'm after some tips and advice for sharing our 8 year old sons recent ASC diagnosis with him. I've read up the advice from the NAS website.I'm after some insider insight from experiences of parents who have already been through this, or adults who have been through the sharing of their diagnosis.
I am really conscious to do this in the best possible way for our very much loved son. He was diagnosed in the last 4-5 months and it is not sitting right with me that we havent yet shared the information about him with him yet. We dont want it to be a secret and we are so proud of who he is.
I would love it please if you can share any personal do and dont's or words of caution.
Many thanks in Advance
My nephew is 9 with an ASD, ADHD diagnosis and my sister-in-law decided not to share it with him at all (or at least that's her present stance). Her reasoning was that she doesn't feel he has the emotional competency to understand or process what this means for his current life/relational world. He doesn't yet see himself as different. I think it very much depends on how your son relates to his world. My daughter is AS and 7yo and she has already had conversations with me in which she says, 'Mommy I'm different, I don't understand myself.' I had a conversation with her that went; 'You are different and you are whole. You have challenges and you are loved.' I paraphrase but you get the drift. I didn't use the word autism because it is meaningless to her right now, and I'd much prefer she decides what the word means for herself before books, blogs and the media pile definitions onto her. It helped me that I'm AS and I thought about what I'd have liked to hear as a little girl, growing up feeling like an alien (was diagnosed last year at 31). You're his parent, trust that you know where he's at, you'll probably get it right.
Yes, I think there's a lot to be said for growing up without the label but having the individual issues listened to. I think not knowing about my autism as a difference and disability helped me enter the adult world confidently. I'd have liked that my parents could have supported me emotionally through my upsets better, but they didn't have the knowledge, skills or capacity for that.