2yo boy with possible ASD

Hi all

Sorry for the long post - it’s so hard to try and summarise really complex situations!

I have a lovely little boy, just over 2 years old, who has been showing some autistic traits for about a year now (stimming, lining up his toys rather than playing with them, slightly delayed language etc).  I don’t know if he is autistic (we only just got a referral to the paediatricians) but I have found some of the literature and online resources for ASD helpful in trying to understand his behaviour and getting ideas for supporting him.  There are a few things I am struggling with at the moment and I would really appreciate any thoughts or insight from ASD folk (or parents of).

We have noticed a pattern in his moods. He has always been a fairly focused/serious child rather than particularly relaxed or cheery (though he has his moments), but lately we seem to have a pattern of 3-4 good/ok days and then one day (or half day) when he just wakes up in a terrible mood and seems to be looking for things to get upset about, with anything he doesn’t like (eg nappy change) sparking a tantrum.  I’ve noticed he seems to lose his language at such times and revert to communicating with yells like he did a few months back, and he also tends to want to stim a lot (flicking/spinning a couple of toys or objects) but that really frustrates him as well if it’s not working how he wants and he often works himself into a tantrum by trying to stim, dropping his toys and getting angry which makes him more likely to drop them again... He is also really averse to doing anything at all challenging or new (like going outside or reading a new book can seem to upset him, although those are things he would normally enjoy).  We currently get through by just making him as comfortable as we can and avoiding anything remotely stressful, but I do wonder if there is anything I can do to help him not be so miserable so frequently.  We have tried to find a pattern but found none except the 3-4 day rule.  I did wonder if there is something physical behind it (eg headaches) but trying calpol doesn’t seem to make a difference and he doesn’t give any other sign of pain.  I’ve also wondered if there is some kind of build-up of stress happening, such that he copes fine with normal stimulation etc but every few days just needs a break - though there doesn’t seem to be a ‘build up’ of his mood, a bad day can follow a really bright day, or just an average day.  The only rule seems to be the frequency.  If anyone has any other ideas about what might be happening I’d be most grateful!

Another issue is that he is going through quite an obsessive/controlling stage (I think ordering the objects around him helps him feel independent and in control of his life which really matters to him).  As part of this he has started getting stuck on particular pages in books, and likes going over and over that page but won’t let anyone turn it or continue with the book (or else he gets really upset).  It’s making us pretty sad as he used to love reading with us (and still does, when we choose books he hasn’t yet picked a page of).  But it feels like it’s happening with more and more books, and as soon as he’s picked a page, that’s a permanent rule for that book so we can no longer read it (he’s kept it up for months on some books).  Any suggestions for overcoming or limiting this would be welcome!

Many thanks

  • Thanks Aidie.  I’ve had an explore of the main site but will also try the parent to parent help you mentioned.  We’re really at a loss with the reading, and it’s so hard feeling like we’re losing one of the ways we really connected with him.  We have considered whether ocd might be part of the picture (there is some family history), but it doesn’t really help us know how to respond... I guess we will just have to wait for the paediatrics appointment.

    We did consider sleep as affecting mood (as well as exercise) but it doesn’t seem clearly related to either.  He actually sleeps quite well now (though it took some work getting there!)

    PS I love that you’re a Marcus Aurelius fan! 

  • summarise issues down to one line just so the paediatrician can quicky read through what you have found

    eg

    gets stuck on one page when reading

    larger periodic mood swings evident

    keep looking for a cause to his mood swings. The observations you have found are quite good.  Could this be sleep related ?  try playing relaxing background music all night in his room eg sound  of the sea or indeed stuff he likes 

    mood swings are a possible trait within Autism but mention this to the paediatrician  there are other causes as well

    getting stuck on one page could be OCD   but again mention this to the paediatician  OCD is also commonly found with autism.

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    keep up the great work 

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    just so u know there is a parent to parent helpline/online form u can use as well

    its in this  NAS page

    www.autism.org.uk/.../help-and-support

    also explore this main site for general autism related knowledge.

    www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance