Published on 12, July, 2020
My son 19, was diagnosed in 2017. He has and always had meltdowns with high aggression. Things in the house have got broke, holes in doors,things thrown at me , verbal abuse e.t.c. I don't want to put up with this anymore. I've advised him to go to anger management courses,courses around asd or anything that could help.him . He will say yes but it never happens. Today I was helping him move his drawers out his bedroom cos they're broke and I said he could borrow my unit till he found a new one. Cos he couldn't fit everything back on the unit he started swearing,shouting e.t.c..His 5 year old was there saying stuff to him he told him to piss off. Threw a pot noodle down stairs and chucked a towel in my face. Now I know I should have removed my little one and I could see him getting a bit anxious whilst I was moving his stuff but he's be ok one time and not another he's so unpredictable. Just fed up with feeling like everything is my fault like I didn't react to him the right way or didn't pick up on something. The reason why I've posted this now is the fact his biological dad who was mentally and physically abusive to me did a similar thing . He called me a stupid ••••••• *** and got me round the throat just for tidying his wardrobe. It just brought it all back and I don't want my son to end up doing the same thing wether it be to me,his future partners or children. I do I get him to see he can't do the things that he does to people and think it's ok?
[Edited by Moderator]
Blue said:When i first commented it was uncategorised ! This community page is for people on the autism spectrum not just parents of autistic children ! 2/3rds of the people who comments on your post do not have their own children. There is a general enquiries line that is more suitable for this type of subject where you can explain yourself better and get not only the advice you want but be signed posted to some organisation or professional that can help. Sorry if you do not like my replies, but it wouldn't do it deliberately inflict harm for the sake of it and i am extremely Sorry that i refuse to just tell you what you want to hear. Sorry that i refuse encourage you own mental processes in alleviating your own guilt i would highly recommended that you see someone to sort and process it in a more healthy manor. I have shared my own experience openly so you can try and understand the place your son might be emotionally and mentally and hopefully my advice should allow you to fix the situation and relationship with your son. it's down to you how you chose to interpret my replies. You can keep quoting me all you like out of context all you like it just proves my hypothesis on your behaviour towards your adult child, it's similar tactic that a covert narcissist does to achieve their goals and get the outcome they want from people. We see this quite often on the community page where the parent has commented and explained their sons behaviour but not explained or taken responsibility for their own actions and behaviour that may have caused an incident from their own behaviour. You have purposely left out information and didn't even think to explain what you were doing prior to adult son outburst.
When i first commented it was uncategorised ! This community page is for people on the autism spectrum not just parents of autistic children ! 2/3rds of the people who comments on your post do not have their own children. There is a general enquiries line that is more suitable for this type of subject where you can explain yourself better and get not only the advice you want but be signed posted to some organisation or professional that can help.
Sorry if you do not like my replies, but it wouldn't do it deliberately inflict harm for the sake of it and i am extremely Sorry that i refuse to just tell you what you want to hear. Sorry that i refuse encourage you own mental processes in alleviating your own guilt i would highly recommended that you see someone to sort and process it in a more healthy manor.
I have shared my own experience openly so you can try and understand the place your son might be emotionally and mentally and hopefully my advice should allow you to fix the situation and relationship with your son. it's down to you how you chose to interpret my replies. You can keep quoting me all you like out of context all you like it just proves my hypothesis on your behaviour towards your adult child, it's similar tactic that a covert narcissist does to achieve their goals and get the outcome they want from people.
We see this quite often on the community page where the parent has commented and explained their sons behaviour but not explained or taken responsibility for their own actions and behaviour that may have caused an incident from their own behaviour. You have purposely left out information and didn't even think to explain what you were doing prior to adult son outburst.