I was living in a 2 bed house with 3 young children all sharing one room for just under a year. We moved home as the eldest who has ASD and ADHD was becoming more and more volatile towards the younger siblings and there was nowhere for anyone to get a break or any space from one another. We managed to buy a larger home in another area, with 4 bedrooms and we've been here almost a year. The eldest has a room alone and the younger 2 share, while we have an office for work and storage and a master bedroom for us parents.
The eldest has asked a lot if they can all share a room again as he doesn't like being alone. The problems we face are:
Do we let them all share a bedroom and risk his volatile behaviour getting worse because he's got to share space he's had to himself all year, but give them a chance to have a separate playroom where they can keep their toys (rather than in their rooms as they do currently) and get a bit of space from each other?
Do I keep them as they are in separate rooms but with toys in each that the eldest takes and destroys because they're not his and it hurts his siblings most, and just put up with it in the hopes things improve over time?
Or do I take the radical decision to put all 3 in one room for sleep only, have a playroom for them with toys as well as a room for other things such as timeouts, one to one time, a calm space to get a breather alone and for homework time or whatever else, by ditching having our own office space and just putting that in our own room for a while?
I'm struggling to know what's right. We're so incredibly lucky to have this as an option, I know, but it's awful being constantly guilt ridden picking one child over another trying to do what's best for all of them. I can't seem to get it right and my middle child particularly suffers from the eldest child's outbursts.
Thanks
