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7yo masking in school. Should I homeschool?

Ria

My 7yo daughter has always masked how she felt. Saying that she doesn't want to get into trouble or upset her teachers. She goes above and beyond to be good and perfect. No matter how many times I say she should say how she feels, she doesn't. That she has a good day at school, but then I find out from her that she's got upset or didn't feel happy but is too scared to say. 

Apparently she had an incident of rolling her eyes ar a teacher (this would he incredibly out of character for her) but then I couldn't get her to school for 2 days after. Crying, being awake all night with worry and. And struggled to get her to school Monday, she said her left arm was hurting, but apparently she had a really good day. My daughter told.ke after that she felt scared in the morning and still didn't want to go to school. 

With her anxiety, the need to be perfect and not tell people how she really feels, I'm so worry that as she gets older, the masking and anxiety will get so much and she will end up having a break down over it. 

School are difficult to speak to or just brush things under the carpet. I sent in a letter about the eye rolling and was told it was inappropriate. I do not feel like she is being supported emotionally. 

Should I home school, even just for a while until I can find a school where she is comfortable to say how she feels? (I might be moving next year out of the area so she would be going to school with her cousins hopefully ). 

Two teachers also commented that she "is a bright girl who just happens to have autism" and I'm not quite sure how to take that. 

Parents

  • the home schooling decision should be yours and yours alone to decide depending on your financial position and you ability to provide a suitable education in the confinement of your home. Would you considering homeschooling your daughter if she didn't have anxiety and autism ?

    I think the main issue is the staff at your daughter school, They seem to not be educated in autism or providing enough support for your daughter and unfairly disciplining her because of her social differences which is obvious causing the anxiety because she probably being disciplined multiple times a day by the teachers and other staff for behaviours they consider rude without effectively explain why. 

    If two teachers made the same comment of "is a bright girl who just happens to have autism" on separate occasions than the staff have talked amongst themselves about your daughter and the way your daughter has reacted when they have understandably mistreated her. They know they have made errors and typically will back each other to protect their jobs.

    Another thing to be concerned about if the teachers and other staff start saying on her report cards or face to face interaction with you is that she "is that she is very emotional" this is sign that the teachers are worried that she has told you what they have done and will try to make out she is lying. 

    From experience of being that child there's definitely something wrong happening and the school is trying to cover it up or they truly believe it not a big deal. i would make the effort with the school to sort things out and if things continue to get worse go and talk to the ofsted.

Reply

  • the home schooling decision should be yours and yours alone to decide depending on your financial position and you ability to provide a suitable education in the confinement of your home. Would you considering homeschooling your daughter if she didn't have anxiety and autism ?

    I think the main issue is the staff at your daughter school, They seem to not be educated in autism or providing enough support for your daughter and unfairly disciplining her because of her social differences which is obvious causing the anxiety because she probably being disciplined multiple times a day by the teachers and other staff for behaviours they consider rude without effectively explain why. 

    If two teachers made the same comment of "is a bright girl who just happens to have autism" on separate occasions than the staff have talked amongst themselves about your daughter and the way your daughter has reacted when they have understandably mistreated her. They know they have made errors and typically will back each other to protect their jobs.

    Another thing to be concerned about if the teachers and other staff start saying on her report cards or face to face interaction with you is that she "is that she is very emotional" this is sign that the teachers are worried that she has told you what they have done and will try to make out she is lying. 

    From experience of being that child there's definitely something wrong happening and the school is trying to cover it up or they truly believe it not a big deal. i would make the effort with the school to sort things out and if things continue to get worse go and talk to the ofsted.

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