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doing poo in school..... very diffcult for him

wood36

Hi! 

My 9 yr son has just changed school. New school (mainstream) has sufficient experience with helping autistic children and strong inclusion team. 

Before changing to this school, I discussed FULLY about his difficulties including toileting issues, I offered to come to school and hlep his poo, as he can't use toilet for his poo, when he needs,  and then, they accepted to have him with them.

A week goes on,(he has got no problem so far) today I was told by the teacher that they would not accept special arrangement for his toileting isseus becuase it is mainstrem not special school, whihc means that I may not be allowed to come and help him when he needs poo and which menas that he can't do poo in school.

I really really wish that they should have told me this before he started school so that I would not have sent him to this school.....  They had a planty of time (3months) to consider and observed him whether they accepted him or not before offering a place.

Changing school ws truly big challenge for him and he had servere anxiety, all these 3 months emotional preparation to change school..... I don't think it would be realistic if he has to change school again. 

What shall I do? change another school again? or negotiate with school (peacefully)?

Is there anyone who is good at negotiating with school? If so, could you kindly tell me  how to talk this matter wtih school?    

Thank you for reading my message. 

    

  • aw bless you x Its so stressful having yours and ur little ones world ruled by bowel movements x hopefully things will get sorted x and if not im sure there would be a local school that had a shower unit if they have one then they should be prepared to put a care plan togeather for ur boy , its difficult enough for him as it is they should be releaving your stresses x good luck x

  • Thank you so much for yoru kihd advice, Mum of 3 and twink.

    I was so upset yesterday afternoon after the teacher told me that I can't help my son for poo at school. Your both comments really "comforted" me and I now get power to deal with this issue.

    My son only can poo in nappy and can't clean himself. He missed 35 days in the last acedemic year (in the previous school) just because of this poo mattter, as he could not use toilet for poo. He had to stay home if i suspected that he might need poo at school.  

    I will peacefully negotiate with school, as mumof 3 suggested. But sometimes I find it very difficult, as English is not my first language. As twink suggested, I will contact Parent Partnership if they could help me (or represent me). 

    Once agian, thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate. 

  • Are you familiure with parent partenership they may be able to help you out , to support you and go to a meeting with you to resolve this issue .They will inform you of all your childs educational rights x seems so very unfair as you told them everything first and they accepetd .I can assure you that not all schools are like this my boy is given a shower after soiling in school and they have 2 teachers to do it x good luck Smile