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Days Out

Daisy Doo

My little girl, 6 yrs old, was diagnosed with Autism last month. One of the things I struggle with is where to take her for a day out. She is hysterically terrified of dogs so that means that we cant to for a walk on the moors (where we used to spend every weekend), in the woods, to the beach, to a country park or even to a play ground. We've got a day in the Lake District next week and thought about a boat trip, but apparently they allow dogs. We have membership to the zoo and go a lot but due to the Crisis we now have to book but cant always get in. We've been to the cinema once and it was really difficult and she didnt enjoy it at all. I'm at a loss and need to get out of the house. 

  • in reply to Castle

    Have you thought of a non-shedding type?      My brother has Labradoodles - there's no hair around.   I like dogs but wouldn't have one - I like the 10% of all the fun of a dog but for the other 90%, you've got a dog to look after, to walk, to clear up after etc,

    I agree with what you say about owner liability in a bite scenario - the problem is, in my opinion, dogs are very autistic - the follow a very rigid set of pack rules and so if they perceive a person acting 'incorrectly', they will instantly discipline the naughty pack member - and that's normally how kids get nipped or bitten in the garden.       In a park, an out of control dominant or nervous dog will attack anything showing fear so again, it's normally the person or the other dog acting incorrectly that unknowingly invited the attack - but the owner is still liable..

    I'm with you - I hate idiots bringing their out of control crazy dogs into a public area.   

    I go for a walk in the local park and there's a wide stream where all the dogs and owners play - I like to sit on the bench and watch them - it's nice and relaxing to see them all playing nicely - but you can see and feel the atmosphere change and all the dogs react when a moron turn up with his badly behaved mutt - everything splits into separate owner & dog groups and they all go on the alert in case they need to defend their ground.      Everyone just freezes until the moron goes away -  and then they immediately drop back into play mode.

  • in reply to Plastic

    Thanks for your advice Plastic I too myself around her age was like that too until we rescued a dog from the RSPCA when I was about 12 and took it into the family home. Dogs bring so much comfort and joy especially when you're having or had a bad day they make you feel better. If I had it my way I would have a small puppy tomorrow but my wife cannot stand pet hair around the house so the only time that's going to happen is if I out live her.

    On the other hand its the owners responsibility for their dog and if they did attack/bite would be liable for the dogs actions. It does annoy me when I see certain dog owners allowing their dogs to roam without a lead when you are nearby a children's park.

  • in reply to Castle

    Be careful - dogs are predators and they sense feelings and fear - and the only animals that would be frightened around dogs is a prey animal - and they pick up on this.     Depending on how stable or controlled the particular dog is, this behaviour can cause the dog to try to bite.

    Meeting dogs in a hyper-controlled environment to normalise and train your daughter to not be bothered by them would really help her.        Meeting puppies and getting used to the lowest-risk version of the dog will help to desensitise her.

  • This sounds exactly like my 5 year old. She is terrified of dogs, motorbikes too loud etc. Its seems a bit silly but she will literally be trying to climb up either me or her mum. She isn't diagnosed on the spectrum but we both have feelings she possibly is like myself Aspergers type ASC. We don't take her any where out of the norm but we always know we will have to pick her up as they approach/go past her. I don't know if she'll ever grow out of this?

  • One of the main traits of ASD is grossly overblown anxiety and the need for total control of any unknown situations - so the more reasons for predicting chaos, the more barriers your daughter will invent to control any situation.         The best way to 'train' her is for you to work out where the stress 'pinch points' are and design outings or exercises that only challenge one at a time - make every potential problem into small baby-steps to overcome them.

    Are you able to visit an animal shelter where all the dogs are behind bars?      You can convince her that it's totally safe - like a zoo - and maybe get a book on dog breeds so you pre-educate her about dogs and you can take it along to do 'breed spotting' and try to get her to guess the make-up of the mongrels - make it so it's a cerebral, technical challenge where she is safely separated from the dogs - and then you can gauge her reaction to the situation.      Talk to her about dog behaviour - the way they like to sniff or maybe hide at the back and bark because they are unsure or scared of her - give her the feeling of power that she actually scares these great big dogs!  Smiley        

    DO NOT surprise her with anything - make sure everything is talked through to her satisfaction and give her time so she can process all of the baby steps beforehand.       Make it fun and exciting and a puzzle to solve (the dog book) and you're more likely to get her buy-in.    Be prepared to back off a little if things move too quickly for her.

    From there, on another visit, you might be able to get her to meet the calmest, quietest puppy - and maybe she'll be comfortable with that - and she might be happy to stroke something so safe.      Talk to the animal shelter and see if they can help you.     Just remember, baby steps and no surprises.   

    You'll find this works with almost any control-issues that your daughter will create as she becomes aware of how big and chaotic the world is and how to satisfy her need to control things to make her feel safe..