Hello,
My youngest son in 19 and, although he was referred for assessment and he will state that he is probably on the autism spectrum, he has declined to pursue diagnosis. He has a rather old diagnosis of Generalised Anxiety Disorder, but again, chooses not to seek formal support for this. I live alone with him. His older brother (21) is in residential accommodation for people with serious mental health issues; he has a diagnosis of autism and psychosis, and my husband (and the father of our sons) has a diagnosis of autism and lives apart from us.
My problem is that my youngest son left formal education at the age of 14 (Year 9). He was too anxious to attend and he received only fragmentary tuition until he formally left school three years ago. So, he has no meaningful educational qualifications. His reading is good, but his literacy skills are poor and he needs support to compose letters of formal messages. Since leaving school he has accessed further education for two weeks (then he stopped attending); he went on a training course for two months (then stopped attending) and he has gained employment in two jobs and walked out of both these posts within a day or two of starting them.
I desperately want this year to be different and I really want him to start engaging in something. He is no longer a 'young kid' whom employers may feel needs a chance. Rather, he presents as a young man who has done nothing in the past three years and has no qualifications that could help him in a vastly competitive job market. This is not really the case, my son is governed by rituals and compulsions, many around fitness and health and he has a serious health anxiety . He searches the house every night for would be intruders (ritualistically looking in the wardrobe and the ottoman for them) and he has sanitised and washed his hands until they are raw (the current pandemic has not helped him).
I just want to help him move forward in some way, but he dismisses anything I suggest. He will not claim benefits, so I pay for the things he needs (e.g. subscription for the gym and food). I have tried the hard line e.g. stating he must do something to earn his gym subs, but this just seems to make him more anxious and confused. I really believe he does not want to be like this, but he cannot find a way out of the minute world he has created.
Has anyone any ideas? I apologise for the long message.
