The Older Generation

Heledhil said:

I'm finding it very difficult as I get older (retired now) and my son (43) a very late-diagnosed Asperger's, faces more and more problems.

He has some help and there seems at long last to be a slowly growing realisation as to how much his condition affects him.  But the future is bleak, especially with the looming cuts.

For me, on my own, it's a life of increasing isolation as I am both excluded by the organisation helping him (it's how they work!!) and I have tried to find a group I can get to (I'm disabled physically now) to share ways of coping, but there is nothing even reasonably local.

Still, I find as a mother I am still treated as THE problem - whether it's blame for the original condition, blame for his behaviourial traits, blame for anything he can't cope with, blame for not being the perfect mother .................  it's very hard to be constantly criticised and to have no-one else batting on your side.

I wish sometimes I could just start walking and never stop.

Are there any other older parents or carers who feel they are simply shoved to one side, but expected to shoulder all the problems that arise?

you know heledhil, tho im the same person i was when my partner and i met, i have changd a lot to 'fit' with his autism and its needs, i find i have had to adapt and become a different person, and its not been easy

and honestly, no i havent had any help, and i have been shoved to the side and not just expected to cope with it all, but just have to, whether its obsessions, stress, routine  changes meltdowns or agression i have to deal with it all on my own. it has not been easy

obviously i cant understand from your view point about being critisized and to blame, but i do know ive had a lot of judgment for soem of his less social behaviours

its not easy, but you know, i say stuff them, they dont matter, if all they are gonna do is blame judge etc, then they obviously dont have much abillity to think or evne help

that shows more about them than it does you or your son

the cuts are affecting a lot of good people who needed that extra help and money,its just another by product of this soceity we liv ein right now , we just have to push through it and keep going, make sure we have what WE need

Heledhil said:

I'm finding it very difficult as I get older (retired now) and my son (43) a very late-diagnosed Asperger's, faces more and more problems.

He has some help and there seems at long last to be a slowly growing realisation as to how much his condition affects him.  But the future is bleak, especially with the looming cuts.

For me, on my own, it's a life of increasing isolation as I am both excluded by the organisation helping him (it's how they work!!) and I have tried to find a group I can get to (I'm disabled physically now) to share ways of coping, but there is nothing even reasonably local.

Still, I find as a mother I am still treated as THE problem - whether it's blame for the original condition, blame for his behaviourial traits, blame for anything he can't cope with, blame for not being the perfect mother .................  it's very hard to be constantly criticised and to have no-one else batting on your side.

I wish sometimes I could just start walking and never stop.

Are there any other older parents or carers who feel they are simply shoved to one side, but expected to shoulder all the problems that arise?

you know heledhil, tho im the same person i was when my partner and i met, i have changd a lot to 'fit' with his autism and its needs, i find i have had to adapt and become a different person, and its not been easy

and honestly, no i havent had any help, and i have been shoved to the side and not just expected to cope with it all, but just have to, whether its obsessions, stress, routine  changes meltdowns or agression i have to deal with it all on my own. it has not been easy

obviously i cant understand from your view point about being critisized and to blame, but i do know ive had a lot of judgment for soem of his less social behaviours

its not easy, but you know, i say stuff them, they dont matter, if all they are gonna do is blame judge etc, then they obviously dont have much abillity to think or evne help

that shows more about them than it does you or your son

the cuts are affecting a lot of good people who needed that extra help and money,its just another by product of this soceity we liv ein right now , we just have to push through it and keep going, make sure we have what WE need