So worried for the future

clem20 said:

Hello

My Son was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome a year ago, along with dyslexia, dyspraxia and Irlen Syndrome. He has now developed a motor tic, which means he punches, not aggressively, but impulsively.....so hard to understand even for his Mum who knows he would never intentionally hurt anyone.

He is getting more isolated, cannot attend school at present, although I am looking into a school which caters for his needs. I am so so tired of the fight now....for diagnonsis......for inclusion at school.....for understanding amongst my friends (who have largely over the years thought it was more my issue than his)........for acceptance of his quirks and now this new facet of the syndrome comes along to complicate things more!

I am sure that I do not stand alone in these thoughts and feelings and would be both interested and comforted by the experiences and wisdom of others.

im sorry to hear hes getting more isolated and this must obviously be stressing you and his mum as much as it stresses him 

im also sorry soceity isnt yet properly treating people with specific needs and still prefers everyone to be 'normal' to the pont its still exclusionary in a lot of ways, its a horrible situation and it would be easy to rectify if soceity changed but till that happens all of us with peple in our livs with differences have to do it on our own   but, we have each other and thats enough, we understand some of the ways it can affect each other and that helps a lot, knowing others do get it, exactly as you said, its comforting and thats why we are here to listen 

The future is irrational, get the right support and information, have a long-term outline care plan, so you have the power to influence or control the environment better in a more order rational pattern, just take one problem at a time and make ground slowly. STOP FIGHTING YOURSELF.

hi Clem - I think everyone will understand how you feel.  Your right to look into a school that will meet his needs.  Having his needs met is vital.   Being in the wrong school can exacerbate all sorts of problems - just look at the posts on here for proof.  So I think getting the right placement (with a statement of educational needs) is definately the way to go.  This will help your son + your family.  It will take the pressure off all of you to some degree, depending on the placement.

Some people will never understand.  Some can't be bothered.  Some switch off/don't know what to say or don't want to know.  These people aren't worth the effort, whether "friends" or not.  They'll bring heartache.  

Tired of the fight?  You bet!  Unfortunately we have to keep fighting on or things won't improve.  There have been times I've nearly given up.  Let things lie for a while, struggled on.  But you do find reserves of strength to go on.  You can succeed, it can be done.  It's just so terribly unfair that it's got to be this way, for the child concerned + the family.  Over the yrs I've learnt to be well prepared for any "fight".  Information is power.  You sort of shift into a slightly different reality from the everyday you were used to. You have to learn about asd + maybe other conditions, you have to learn about statements, make decisions about education, social services, benefits, respite care, the law.  It's a lot to take in + that's before you put things into action.  So yes, we aren't treated properly by the "powers that be", so we fight.  This site is a good place to get support, info + understanding so chip in whenever.  bw