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Weary about diagnosis

Sunshineflower
over 3 years ago

Hi,

I wanted some advice. My daughter I believe has autism and I am very weary about getting a diagnosis. She is now 13 and it’s becoming a problem  in regards to her friends.

She doesn’t see the bad in anyone and has some terrible friends. She doesn’t like communicating so I arrange everything. I am exhausted and I don’t particularly like any of her friends Some are mean, Some are manipulative , spread lies about her, Cause drama. She is quiet and doesn’t know how to stand up for herself. 

the trouble is I help her make friends and keep friends. But the quality she has Is poor. But I think is it better than being alone? 

she gets sad if she is on her own and I don’t think it’s good for her mental health. But I am exhausted as I go out with her as generally if I’m not there she will be picked on. 

I don’t know how to get help for this and if I did decide I wanted a diagnosis what help can anyone provide especially in regards to friends.

please help 

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    You titled your post "Weary about the diagnosis". Have you considered what are your concerns? This is the much more visceral and broader implications point than whether her current friends are good. I have two autistic daughters and have been on the diagnosis and SEND circuits for years, having been through all circles of SEN hell. In my experience, the situation gets progressively more difficult and new and bigger problems emerge at every tirn in the education. Children who don't get diagnosis and support often implode to a total school refusal and mental health crisis un six form. This forum is full of examples of youngster sitting in the bedrooms not in education, not in employment and without social life and real friends. The diagnosis on the other hand provides the key to understand and find coping strategies for various aspects of her life. It will empower her, give her agency and positive identity, be good for self esteem and help to find her tribe. If the diagnosis is handled with a helpful perspective by the family.

    Keep on discussing your misgivings.

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    You titled your post "Weary about the diagnosis". Have you considered what are your concerns? This is the much more visceral and broader implications point than whether her current friends are good. I have two autistic daughters and have been on the diagnosis and SEND circuits for years, having been through all circles of SEN hell. In my experience, the situation gets progressively more difficult and new and bigger problems emerge at every tirn in the education. Children who don't get diagnosis and support often implode to a total school refusal and mental health crisis un six form. This forum is full of examples of youngster sitting in the bedrooms not in education, not in employment and without social life and real friends. The diagnosis on the other hand provides the key to understand and find coping strategies for various aspects of her life. It will empower her, give her agency and positive identity, be good for self esteem and help to find her tribe. If the diagnosis is handled with a helpful perspective by the family.

    Keep on discussing your misgivings.

Children
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