Weary about diagnosis

Hi,

I wanted some advice. My daughter I believe has autism and I am very weary about getting a diagnosis. She is now 13 and it’s becoming a problem  in regards to her friends.

She doesn’t see the bad in anyone and has some terrible friends. She doesn’t like communicating so I arrange everything. I am exhausted and I don’t particularly like any of her friends Some are mean, Some are manipulative , spread lies about her, Cause drama. She is quiet and doesn’t know how to stand up for herself. 

the trouble is I help her make friends and keep friends. But the quality she has Is poor. But I think is it better than being alone? 

she gets sad if she is on her own and I don’t think it’s good for her mental health. But I am exhausted as I go out with her as generally if I’m not there she will be picked on. 

I don’t know how to get help for this and if I did decide I wanted a diagnosis what help can anyone provide especially in regards to friends.

please help 

Parents
  • Friends are a bit of a double edged sword - we're often quite able to do without them but we like having the option of a mild social life.    

    Are you able to get her into a better group like encouraging her to join the scouts/explorers or similar?       It's a couple of hours a week of adult-controlled socialising while focussed on activities & tasks.     They're usually a nice bunch of kids and very accepting of differences.

    If you're doing all the work to maintain her bad friends, just let them fade away.

Reply
  • Friends are a bit of a double edged sword - we're often quite able to do without them but we like having the option of a mild social life.    

    Are you able to get her into a better group like encouraging her to join the scouts/explorers or similar?       It's a couple of hours a week of adult-controlled socialising while focussed on activities & tasks.     They're usually a nice bunch of kids and very accepting of differences.

    If you're doing all the work to maintain her bad friends, just let them fade away.

Children
  • Yes I was thinking sea scouts but my daughter is really happy staying in but I don’t think it’s good for mental health and she can’t initiative friendships independently. I just feel like I’m failing my daughter and I don’t know what right or wrong for her