My teenage daughter Abigail has Aspergers Syndrome. Up until a year or two ago she has always been a very calm and quiet girl but now she’s got very angry and she has meltdowns and outbursts frequently. She’s never liked school that much but always went but now she’s got to go back next week and she’s in a terrible mood. She’s cried and screamed and she hit the wall which hurt her hand but she won’t let me look at it. She’s also got a problem with herself. The other day she hit her face and made her nose bleed. When I asked her why she did that she said because she’s a monster. All this began last year after my husband passed away. I have a younger daughter who is seven and she is also quiet but never aggressive, she seemed to have coped with the loss of their father a lot better than Abigail has.
I also have Aspergers but have never been aggressive so I really don’t know what to do to help Abigail. I’m worried about her safety though as she’s started hurting herself and this morning she had a meltdown and threw the cutlery, a fork hit my hand and caused it to bleed. I’m worried in case she lashes out again more worse next time or if she hurts her sister.
Please help if you can.
Have you asked for a referral to Early Help through the school? They can be fantastic support for families and help link you to support from other agencies - it is likely that your daughter will need some mental health support and the Early Help worker can help you to access this sooner rather than later and advocate on your behalf. It sounds like you have all had a very challenging time and I am very sorry for your loss.
Hi, thank you for your help and words.
I haven't asked for such a referral but I'm going to. I also want to phone the school and see if they can offer any help as well, the more help we can get for Abigail the better and happier I will feel.
No problem at all. The school can do the Early Help referral for you - they just need your verbal consent. You can also request that the school takes Abihail's case to the next LIFT meeting (Local Inclusion Forum Team). Her case will be discussed by the specialist team at the meeting and they will be able to suggests strategies to support Abigail at school.
Hello, I’m sorry to learn of the troubles you are currently experiencing with your daughter’s behaviour.
A recent bereavement and the current change to routines are obviously triggering for many autistic individuals.
I don’t know if you heard of Studio 3? They are a group that advocate a low arousal approach to managing behaviours of concern. In the following link you will find some free webinars about various aspects of this approach. https://www.studio3.org/free-webinars
You may also find practical help on the Facebook page of Autism Inclusive Meets, you can access it from their site here: https://autisticinclusivemeets.org/
I have no association with either group.
All the best, Graham.
Thank you for sharing this with the community. I'm sorry that you've had such a difficult time with your daughter. You may find the following links about challenging behaviour/meltdowns from the NAS website useful:
You may also like to contact Young Minds https://youngminds.org.uk/
who are the UK's leading charity regarding children and young people's mental health and wellbeing. They have a helpline offering confidential support to anyone concerned about the emotional problems or behaviour of a child or young person. Their Helpline number is 0808 802 5544.
If you were looking for further more information, or if you have any more queries, you may like to contact our Autism Helpline team. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm).Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor.
I hope this helps:)