Sorry if this is covered in another thread, I tried to search but couldn't work out how. I'm happy to be directed to another relevant thead
My 16 yr old son with autism is having problems with a 'friend'. The friend's mum says that my son is contacting him too often and the content of the emails and social media posts are concerning. I haven't seen them.
He's been in this situation a couple of times before and I have spoken to him. As far as I know he has backed off when told the other person is uncomfortable.
I don't know how to broach it with my son this time , any advice? They've known eachother for more than 10 years and have been good friends in the past.
You need to see the content. Thats my first thought. As his parent find out what he wrote. Ask your son first, if he refuses then contact the other parent and ask them to forward you it. Social media posts should be easy enough to find from whichever platform. but whatever goes you need to know what he has said.
Until you know what the problem is, you cant form a plan to solve it.
You should know your child by now and understand him a bit better and it sounds like you son and the other child have bonded and joked about with the content of the emails and your son has taken it to another level in order to maintain the relationship probably because the other child has gotten board of him and stopped making the effort. this has made your son anxious and has lead to this becoming a problem. people with autism are usually ditched from friendships and friendship groups because we are slightly lacking behind the majority of people and tend to mature a bit slower than the rest of our peers.
you need to ask the other parent to send you content of the emails so you can asses situation a bit better.
it seems like you son is trying to forge friendships but is making people uncomfortable. you do not what him to give up trying to make friendships and connection with others because he will become isolated , frustrated and angry. maybe its time to find other children with autism his own age that understand him and want the same type of friendship.
Friends talk about all kinds of stuff all the time, especially if they've known each other so long. So for your son's friend to feel that concerned that he had to tell her about it, means it's probably something quite serious. If it wasn't, they would've kept it between them. Agree with the others here, you should ask your son what they said, and whether you can have a look. If he won't, then maybe talk to your son's friend, or the mum. x
Thanks all. I have asked to see the messages but no one has yet shown me or given an idea of what they contain. My son isn't ready to talk about it and is angry when I bring it up. I've suggested joining a forum to chat more freely and I am looking for groups with other autistic young people he may like to join.