advice needed please

Hi all, this is my first post.

Having a really hard time at the moment. my partner and I have lived together for around 5 months now (together 7 years).

He is really struggling with my sons ASD and ADHD. He feels that my son is rude all the time, has even said he doesn’t like my son due to this. everything my son does just annoys him. Sometimes my son swears, shouts has melt downs. I know it is hard for him as its all new and I have had years of dealing with it, but the stress of it is bad enough without feeling like I have no support

Have explained that I cant help the way he is. He has even said it is my fault that he is the way he is, and that I don’t discipline him enough (which I do) but with these disabilities you have to pick your battles. along with this my son is 11 so has hormones flying all round his body (have noticed the moods swings have got a lot worse the last year or so)


Does anyone have any advice of what I can do to help my partner?



  • All I can suggest is that you direct your partner to the resources from the NAS. If he doesn't understand the condition then it's easy to believe yout parenting is weak. Consider him a parent of a newly diagnosed child and take him through the painful learning process we've all been through.

  • Swearing, shouting or "meltdowns" isn't "autistic behaviour". It is a natural human reaction to being overwhelmed and unable to cope any longer. It sounds like your son has a lot on his plate and doesn't necessarily live in a very supportive household? 

    As a mother all I want is for my daughter to feel loved and nurtured. If I had a partner and everything my daughter did annoyed him, he thought she was rude simply rather than being accepting of her communication style etc, I'd quickly show him the door. My daughter deserves better than being around someone like that.