Any advice would be great

Hi - you must be feeling as though you’ve been pretty much left in limbo. Sorry to hear that you and your son are struggling and finding it more difficult, the older he grows.  The number one thing you can probably start doing, if you’re not already doing so, is ensuring your tone of voice with him remains neutral at all times.  It’s amazing the difference we can bring about in children, by simple adaptations made to our own behaviour. It may seem unnatural at first, but can make a world of difference to a child who’s struggling to cope in the world. I’m not saying that you aren’t calm when dealing with behavioural issues, but it’s truly worth pointing out, as a little thing like this can make a world of difference. The aim is to lessen the anxiety and stress in your home, by creating as calm an environment as possible. Your son needs to know that you are safe and predictable to him, and can be relied on to be predictable in your patterns of responding to him, 

It’s very important to not take his behaviour, directed at you or anyone in the family, personally. He will be acting out as a means of communicating his frustrations and anxiety. I have been on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour multiple times. It can seem totally out of the blue, but beneath it, there will be a reason for the explosion. When your son is showing signs of aggression, please be mindful of not throwing fuel onto the fire by stimulating him further with speech, attempting to physically move him or engage with him. If his behaviour is escalating, you need to remove yourself to another room, and keep all others safe. Diffusing situations that are already set to explode, require you to remain calm, cool and collected. 

Creating a routine, including your son’s interests, and ensuring he has opportunities to let off steam(eg a mini-trampoline or larger version, allowing him to use art as an outlet(painting, drawing, chalkboard etc), playdough or clay to pound and work out stress, kick a ball about with you, play totem tennis(this can work well I’ve found), a punching bag, anything that might release tensions before they build up. Blowing bubbles can be a good outlet too.

A fun, educational and therapeutic daily routine can help break the day up, and give your son something to rely upon. He may become less volatile and less reactive with a calm, reliable routine. Change doesn’t happen over night. Sleep pattern, sensory issues, frustration over speech and communication may require a new approach, but these are all things that can be worked upon. You’re not alone. If you have any particular concerns or need strategies for any particular behavioural concerns, feel free to ask further questions. There’s alot to be said for maturation down the road, and remind yourself that everything in life is temporary. The life you and your son are living now, is not necessarily the life you’ll be living in the future. Take care.

Hi - you must be feeling as though you’ve been pretty much left in limbo. Sorry to hear that you and your son are struggling and finding it more difficult, the older he grows.  The number one thing you can probably start doing, if you’re not already doing so, is ensuring your tone of voice with him remains neutral at all times.  It’s amazing the difference we can bring about in children, by simple adaptations made to our own behaviour. It may seem unnatural at first, but can make a world of difference to a child who’s struggling to cope in the world. I’m not saying that you aren’t calm when dealing with behavioural issues, but it’s truly worth pointing out, as a little thing like this can make a world of difference. The aim is to lessen the anxiety and stress in your home, by creating as calm an environment as possible. Your son needs to know that you are safe and predictable to him, and can be relied on to be predictable in your patterns of responding to him, 

It’s very important to not take his behaviour, directed at you or anyone in the family, personally. He will be acting out as a means of communicating his frustrations and anxiety. I have been on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour multiple times. It can seem totally out of the blue, but beneath it, there will be a reason for the explosion. When your son is showing signs of aggression, please be mindful of not throwing fuel onto the fire by stimulating him further with speech, attempting to physically move him or engage with him. If his behaviour is escalating, you need to remove yourself to another room, and keep all others safe. Diffusing situations that are already set to explode, require you to remain calm, cool and collected. 

Creating a routine, including your son’s interests, and ensuring he has opportunities to let off steam(eg a mini-trampoline or larger version, allowing him to use art as an outlet(painting, drawing, chalkboard etc), playdough or clay to pound and work out stress, kick a ball about with you, play totem tennis(this can work well I’ve found), a punching bag, anything that might release tensions before they build up. Blowing bubbles can be a good outlet too.

A fun, educational and therapeutic daily routine can help break the day up, and give your son something to rely upon. He may become less volatile and less reactive with a calm, reliable routine. Change doesn’t happen over night. Sleep pattern, sensory issues, frustration over speech and communication may require a new approach, but these are all things that can be worked upon. You’re not alone. If you have any particular concerns or need strategies for any particular behavioural concerns, feel free to ask further questions. There’s alot to be said for maturation down the road, and remind yourself that everything in life is temporary. The life you and your son are living now, is not necessarily the life you’ll be living in the future. Take care.