Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
This is my first time postin, I'll get straight to it I have a 9 year old boy who I've always thought is just harder work to get through too and is a day dreamer with a incredible imagination but the older he gets the more concerned i have become it's only recently in the last week that it's even accured to me he may have always been showing signs of autism.
He struggles with making and keeping friends however it's very unlikely to upset him, he just plays on his own very happily. He enjoys his own company. He wont budge on what hes playing or try new things like I've seen children his age doing he will just go off and do his own thing.
He talks ALOT barely comes up for air when its something he is interested in! He is pretty loud when speaking and we find ourselves always telling him not to shout.
He obsessive over things to the point he has almost convinced himself that he is them ie Harry Potter (when in year one made everyone in class call him Harry and signed his work as Harry) he will talk for hours to anyone who will listen about the things he is in fascination with at the time even if its clear they arent listening. I've seen this happen many times it's so sad but he is completely unaware.
He has the most amazing imagination for a 9 year old he always wants to be playing or thinking about how a game can go, down to every fine detail and is very controlling over what part he will play however he spends the whole time thinking up a game or discussing it and telling other people and what will happen in it he rarely actually plays the game.
He cannot cope with music or dancing period hates it you can see it physically makes him squirm. It really overwhelms him.
He Is a fantastic artist and again will only draw the same things over and over depending on what his new fascination is.
He cant bare people touching him unless it's on his terms and even then he can look like it's almost forced with everyone but myself. When friends have put their arm over him he will remove it instantly he wont allow his brother to cuddle him at all.
He is still very much into dressing up which I'm unsure if children his age still like doing as many grow up too fast. He will sit for hours to make his own costume if he doesnt have what he wants to dress up as.
You need to bring him down to earth to get through to him you can say his name a million times next to him and it's like he is completely deaf until you maybe move your arms around and say his name to gain his attention.
He much prefers adult company to children's and doesnt seem to understand children and can be very bossy with them.
He cant stand loud noises ever and gets quite irritated by them especially people eating loudly, music etc.
He can take things very literally or completely miss the point of something you are telling him or explaining to him and goes off onto something that is totally irrelevant to what you are saying.
These are just a few of his ways and I'm genuinely devastated that its never accured to me maybe he has some form of autism. Am I right for worrying? Please help me i dont want to go through a process of labeling him if it's just me having a panic over nothing.
I'm literally in tears, I feel awful I've never seen it or worried about it before and I must have told him off so many times for not listening, not getting the point not playing the games other children are etc.
Please please can someone help me?
Thank you
From a lot of what you've said, it does sound like your son has a lot of autistic traits, but I'd recommend speaking to your GP so that you can pursue a diagnosis.
I understand that you're not very familiar with autism, so I imagine that's where your worry comes from (I know others have fed back on the language in the post, and it is tough to hear that people are afraid of their child being autistic, but I do think the fear comes from a lack of understanding). Autism is not something to worry about - our brains just work differently from non-autistic people's brains. As with all human beings, we have our challenges and our strengths.
I'd recommend learning as much as you can about autism. Purple Ella's YouTube videos are a great place to start; she's an autistic adult with autistic children, so she has lots of great insight. Libby Scott and Rebecca Westcott's 'Can you see me?' is a beautiful children's book that your son might relate to, and it might be a helpful conversation starter if you do talk to him about pursuing a diagnosis.
As an adult who's waiting for a diagnostic assessment, I'd urge you not to view a label as a bad thing. Autism is not a bad word, and knowing that you're autistic means that you can understand yourself better and access the support you need.
I can't emphasise enough how important it is to let your son be himself. Learn about his differences and help him to embrace them.