Need advice

Hi everyone,  I'm new to this forum so please be patient with me Blush

My daughter is a young adult with lots of complex needs along with Autism.  We have a relatively good relationship but I'm really struggling with her at the moment. She has no friends & relies on me for everything. The trouble is she is incredibly messy, lazy & can be really snappy & mega grumpy. Please don't get me wrong she is also incredibly kind, caring, generous & a lovely person. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time as I don't know which mood I'm going to get. She has her own mental health problems & tells our GP & her counsellor about how she does everything for me!  She literally does nothing, if I ask her to do anything I get glared at so its got to the stage were I don't ask her & I do everything just for an easier life. I'm exhausted & just don't know what to do. Is this anything anyone can relate too or is it just me? 

  • Hi, it's hard going isn't it? My daughter is a complete hypercondriac which is understandable given all her health problems but even the smallest injury is like the end of the world. 

    Hugs & strength sent your way xxx

  • Hi 

    It it is any comfort, my 19 year old son is the same. He is completely isolated and due to his anxiety does not leave the house. Recently developed OCD and he is not touching anything. We have to do everything for him even if physically he is completely able.  He has gone backwards.   

    Yes... you are not alone!  

    Of course I dont have the answer to make things better... but at least  we can comfort each other.

  • Thank you for replying,  I'm sorry your going through this as well but its also nice to know I'm not alone. X

  •  I can relate to doing everything yourself just for peace, I have three children with autism, (and 2without) my 14years old is very unpredictable and often gets moody. She can be very lazy often it’s not worth asking her to do any thing as it ends in a meltdown. However sometimes when I know she really wants something I will use this to get her to do things for me, like tidy her room, maybe change her bed, (often I have to help her to keep motivated) but a little is better than nothing, at least I feel she is contributing and learning to help.

    You are not alone, I often feel very overwhelmed, especially at the moment with everyone at home and no respite at all. I don’t talk to anyone about my children, as unless they have autistic children themselves, they don’t understand how hard it is...this ends making me feel very lonely. That’s why it’s nice to let it out on forums like this where people understand xx