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Child dreading returning to school after Lockdown

Captainmarvel72

Hi, I've just joined today :-) I'm sure many of you are in the same situation in that "Lockdown" has been a dream come true for some of your autistic children.  My 10 year old although doing well academically at school would really much rather not be there and he is absolutely loving being at home for the last few weeks. He has a good little circle of friends with similar interests.  He has started in the last week or so being very unsettled at night and dreading going back to school.   I've explained to him that it is likely to be part-time at first but this isn't easing his distress.  Is anyone else in a similar situation? I've wondered about asking his teacher or the Autism Inclusion Teacher to send him a little email just to explain that it will be a very gentle introduction back into school at first.  His class teacher has already said that she will make a visual timetable/plan so he can see what will happen when he returns (once they know).  He has a great intolerance of uncertainty and said he "needs to know" what is going to happen but I don't really have any answers at the moment! Any advice much appreciated.  Thank you :-)

  • Hi... It sounds simple but you sound as if you can empathise with just how difficult this is for your son and that is so valuable and important it will guide you to the right support and actions to help your son. It must be very hard when no one has the answers. Just a thought but maybe if your son can write and finds writing helpful... he could write down what is worrying him and the autism inclusion lead  could work with you to come up with some reassurances. Or the autism inclusion teacher could email your son and ask him if he has any worries about going back and what these are.

    I know that they might not have all the answers but could perhaps explain how they can help in all eventualities for example a worry might be that he has to start in September in a different classroom. A response could be if this is the case what will you need to know? Your son might reply where to hang my coat where to put my lunch box and where to sit. The response could be.... The teacher will put a photo of 'insert favourite character' to show you which clothes peg is yours, where you need to sit etc.  Or your son might be able to come up with a solution himself.....perhaps something more discrete.... The important thing though is that the teacher will absolutely have to be able to do whatever they agree..... Just an idea...but best to run it past the autism inclusion teacher because I am not sure if this would be possible....

    Also if your son doesn't like writing or if you think that doing this will intensify the anxiety I obviously wouldn't recommend it. Or if it places demand and he struggles to say what it is that makes him worried. It wouldn't be a good idea then either. 

    Hope this might help.... You know your son best so will know if it is a good thing for him or not..... 

  • in reply to Captainmarvel72

    I’m much the same with needing to know so I can relate to how he feels on that level. What I can say is that I think you’ve done all you can do don’t knock your efforts - you’ve done well. 

  • in reply to Captainmarvel72

    Apparently the government are going to give more information this week, Thursday or before. So hopefully it will tell people what the plan is. I think they’re be very cautious, which is of course understandable. All eyes are on Germany apparently, because they’re going to try some ages returning to school this week. I think personally that it’s better to be safe and not take any risks, so I think they should stay shut until at least September. 

  • in reply to Anthony

    Thank you for replying Anthony.  We're doing the best we can but I feel as though I should be doing more! He hates not knowing exactly when things are going to happen but we just don't have that information at the moment - he still asks me over and over again though! 

  • in reply to Forrest123

    Thanks for taking the time to reply :-) I really hope it isn't that soon - I've heard mention of June but I would really prefer September although then we'll still have the same issue of going back...

  • Hello and welcome. By the sounds of it, you and his school are doing everything you can already. I think it’s important to remain open with him - so pass on information when you have it so as he has gone to process it all. Although such information may initially cause some distress, it’s better than springing a huge change on him which could cause a full scale meltdown, but I’m sure you were planning this anyway, so it’s probably not very helpful advice!

  • Hello Captainmarvel72,

    Welcome to the group. I can totally understand your 10 year olds situation. I really didn’t like school at all, and if something like this Covid situation happened back when I was young, I certainly would’ve be dreading going back to school as well. The only thing I can think of is, it might not be as soon as people think. Because I know there has been more talk of it in the last few days. But I don’t know if your saw the news of what Ireland announced the other day on their school’s? They actually said that their school’s won’t be opening until September. So I think we’re likely to follow that example. I’m not sure of course, but I think we will probably do the same. So I think your boy might still have a good few months off Slight smile