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Help - 7 year old son refuses to do anything in lockdown

NAS67097

I'm just looking for some advice from parents going through the same thing.

My lovely 7 year old son (diagnosed with ADD and on the waiting list for ASD assesement) refuses to do anything other than watch youtube videos or watch ipad.  I've tried timers.. limiting the time allowed, a visual chart, virtually tried everything.  It just ends up with him moping around until his allowed back on electronics when school time (3.15pm) finishes.

I'm trying to be a good mum by helping him practice his reading and writing so he doesn't fall even further behind than he already is but in all honesty I don't think I can face the battles anymore but then on the other hand I feel like crying as I feel like I'm failing as his mum.  I try and get him out for the daily walk but the whole time he protests, asks when we're going home and calls me names!

I worry for him in the future, he seems to have no interests in anything other than either playing games or watching other people play games (on youtube).

Any tips or strategies would help.

Or anyone that can tell me this will get easier as he gets older : - )

  • First of all give yourself a break, you are doing the best you can, everyone is. These are not normal times and as long as your son is happy and healthy then try not to worry too much about his education, at 7 he will have plenty of time to catch up in the future if needed.

    If you really want to engage him in less formal education why not try and use whatever subjects he's interested in and turn them into an educational game? You have to be creative and use his obsessions to spark some interest in his education, start small and build on it. So don't expect him to sit and do 30 minutes of maths, but doing 10 maths questions (based on his obsession) and then having 20 minutes youtube time for example, read a book about his obsession (or an online article)for 10 minutes then reward him with something else. Maybe he could write out what kind of video game he would make if he could or write about his favourite youtuber, anything that fits around his obsession. Hopefully this won't seem so much like work for him as it will all be based on the things he likes and then try to add other things in (so a mix of questions about his obsession and other subjects) but if it's still not happening then don't beat yourself up about it, he will be fine!

    From my own perspective, I have an on again off again battle with my daughter to do school work, if she were 7 I would just let it slide but she is due to sit GCSE's next year so this is an important time for her education. She is the most stubborn person you will ever meet but she is at an age where she's easier to reason with/understand consequences i.e if you don't do your work I'll take your phone and playstation away (and she knows I mean it). I've planned out a timetable that is a few days ahead of the deadlines so we have more wiggle room if she's not quite getting through it all each day. She has surprised me at times and done more work then needed (doing the following days work ahead of time) but 80% of the time she tries to get out of doing her work, I just put my foot down and if it escalates she will lose her gadgets (we haven't got to that point yet). I also told a small white lie and said the school are keeping tabs on her work and if she doesn't get it all done they will make her go back to school, that was a massive motivator (she hates school) especially as some of her friends have done no work at all so she feels like I'm being unreasonable.

    I've seen many parents who have essentially told schools to do one, they are not going to battle with their children to do home schooling when there is a pandemic going on, so try not to stress too much, he will be fine whatever you end up doing or not doing!

  • Dear NAS67097,

    This is such a difficult time!  There are some coronavirus tips and resources on the NAS website including resources for autistic people and families which you might find useful.

    Hope that helps.

    Regards,

    Kerri-Mod

  • I was a lot like him in the sense that I didn’t socialise etc and the truth is it doesn’t get easier. Depressing as it sounds to say this, you need to push him (gently rather than seeking radical change) to do more things and socialise more, possibly as Graham suggested with other people who are on the spectrum who he can relate too, else there is a risk that he will become a young adult like me who is forever staying in with a near non-existent social life. I think you may need to push your boundaries a bit in order to make this happen but it’s well worth the effort :)