Hi all.
I'm new to this and not sure where to start. Not sure if anyone can give me advice, but to speak to people who know what I'm going through would be a comfort to me at this difficult time.
I have 2 children with ASD, one of those also has ADHD and goes to special needs school. My older child just has ADHD and my husband also shows signs of ADHD. My life has been hectic, tiresome and stressful to say the least. And now a new and difficult, stressful problem, probably the worst yet. When your 22 year old that has ASD tells you he gets a girl pregnant, you know there is going to be problems. At first all good and really proud of my son as he learns how to be a father. "The problem" he actually didn't want to be with girl but gave it a go for sake of baby. She actually told him she couldn't have children, so i feel she trapped him. They stayed together for nearly a year but all got to much for my son, she basically moved in, would leave child with me often, didn't pay me any rent, she would keep asking for money of my son even though he was giving her a weekly sum for his child, she was also claiming some sort of benefits. She would come back with lip fillers and tattoos, suntan, so I urged him to finish it as this was causing him stress. Things were still ok, he had his child weekends and 2 days through week. And then the trouble starts. He meets another girl, nothing serious but was seeing this girl often. The mother of his baby started getting nasty would change times and days he had his daughter, demanded even more money would be little him about his parenting skills and call him bad father. Her mother also would text my son these nasty comments about him not being a good dad and basically would call him stupid, thick and incompetent. This unfortunately led to my son being very volatile towards them both, which let to a non- molestation order served upon my son. Because of this he couldn't get in touch with her and any attempts me or other members of family made she would play games, such as she busy not sure what she got on that day and so on. This means that I have not seen my grandchild since last October and my son also not seen his child since last October. My son lost his job and has been cutting himself, he also jumped in river while he was drunk and is lucky to still be here. We were given bad advice on how to go about seeking contact and as my son lost job cannot afford solicitor. My son spiralled down hill and unfortunately he contacted her pleading with her to let him see his child, and led to his arrest. Breaking a non-molestation order is up to 5 years in prison. My heart is broken. I feel they used my son's condition to get this order as it says in order my son is very volatile, unpredictable and suffers with mental health. I'm actually shocked that this can happen. My son does find it hard to keep temper under control and feel they new this and were pushing him to loose control in order to keep his child away from him. I worry what my son will do to himself. We are still waiting for him to get charged but is dragging due to coronavirus. My son has missed his child 1st birthday and we still have her presents from all our family in my wardrobe. It feels like a bereavement for all of us.
