Controlling behaviour

Hi I’m new this is very hard for me as I’m a private person but can’t go on much longer 

my daughter is 22 is on the ASD also has behavioural issues I’ve coped with this for years the problem is she controls everything my food cupboard is full of cups with water in she is obsessed with it,  goes ballistic if I touch any of it also rams everything in her wardrobe and god forbid I touch that.

i just need to know why there must be a reason she does this is obsessed with me too constantly asking what I’m doing she is also selective mute only talks at home not perfect but I understand and very very repetitious.

i do have access to respite I just need help I’m worn out I do everything for her as she’s incontinent sorry I just need to off load and hopefully find answers Cry