Please advise - 11year old brother with ASD - anxiety and medication?

I'm super worried about my 11 year old brother. He was diagnosed early on as ASD. He has improved a lot over the years and there is still a long way to go. However, recently, he has been worrying a lot. Like he watched a scary video on YouTube about 'Bloody Mary' and it literally had him paralysed by fear for weeks - avoiding mirrors (literally walking backwards to not face a mirror - it got so frustrating I would make him look into a mirror to get over it and he would be in floods of tears) and he couldn't tell us that it was about this Bloody Mary video because he was scared of saying the word 'Bloody Mary'. One day, we figured it out and had a long talk with him explained everything and he was so relieved - he also explained the cause he was so worried about it, the word 'Bloody Mary' would ring in his mind so he would literally replace it with 'Bloody Mongrel' or something silly to get rid of the thought of Bloody Mary. He will now say Bloody Mary, laugh and joke about it - honestly, it completely felt like a weight lifted off his shoulder and we are so grateful. But alas, now he has found something else to worry about. He is scared about supernatural things and he has these supernatural monsters that he again watched a video about ringing in his mind and its upsetting him - he is regularly crying, withdrawn and his concentration is worse than normal - he will literally start day dreaming into the air when we are talking to him about something. It's upsetting and makes me feel hopeless. I want more than anything for him to have a normal life, he doesn't have to be remarkable or do anything amazing, but just a normal life, a job, get married have kids and be happy. But when I see him regress like this, it breaks my heart and honestly makes me depressed because I just want him to be okay - to be normal.

Anyways, my main concern at the moment is that these anxieties keep cropping up and we have tried talking and reassuring and sometimes it works wonders and other times it doesn't. I also want to mention that our father passed away in 2016 and sometimes he gets anxious about losing more of his family/seeing his father again etc. and it is extremely upsetting to see and deal with. There is a theme of anxiety/OCD in my family but I want to stop this getting worse whilst he is still young. Please advise any experiences with medication? I think that would be the best route for him if I am honest but I am also super against psychiatric medication as I don't want it to have side effects or affect his develpoment.

I would love to hear some experiences/opinions/views - this is my first post and I look forward to speaking with you all. Wishing you and your families the best during these crazy times, stay safe.

Parents
  • Avoid medication that young.  It has far too many side effects and his brain is still developing. Anxiety medication might be a possible route, but be aware that it is addictive and coming off it is likened to worse than coming off crack.  I use it, but a quarter of a tablet once in a while.  its good for acute anxiety problems.  Im not sure going hardcore into SSRI's would be a good idea either, at a young age. But in the US they seem to hand out Prozac to young children like smarties, so maybe its possible, but im not sure I would.  I've had them in the past and the side effects were worse than the depression.  Also due to long half lifes, they take months to come off and trying to do it cold turkey can be very bad.  The likely outcome of giving a person prozac is you end up with a zombie that is tired all the time and will probably just stop functioning completely.  That was me after 3 months on it. Sertraline and Citalopram were about the same.  You could try St Johns Wort if hes not taking anything that interacts with MAOI drugs.  It has a similar uplift, but its an OTC you can buy in most supermarket supplement aisles.  Its what I used to use after I was fed up with being a zombie and went looking for something I could use on occasion and then stop.  It gives a mood uplift, has some anxiolytic effects and helped with my OCD a little.  i used to take them for a couple of days then stop once the crisis was over.  My GP suggested I tried them.  Might be a possible route to try before you bring out the heavy guns.

    Limit his screen time and maybe block youtube if that is the main problem.  Also explain that the vast majority of stuff you find on youtube is complete cr*p and not factual.  Maybe point him at interesting but not anxiety invoking stuff like Discovery documenaries or documentaries in general, but try and supervise what he watches.  If it doesnt help then id block youtube.  I suspect the digital world really doesnt help people with anxiety.  Everywhere you go you find negative stuff.  My brother only allows his children, one is 11, 1 hour of screen time a day and its supervised.  No phones until they get to 16 (but he said he wasnt against giving them say an old nokia as an emergency phone).

    I hate to say this, but he will never be normal by the average NT's idea of normal.  He will either be high functioning or maybe not.  With some luck he may meet someone and get married and have children.  I have two siblings that I know have various levels of (undiagnosed) ASD and both have a wife and kids, also a good degree and masters, houses and a good life.  Many people with ASD have a good life.  I really wouldnt worry about that so much.  Also he doesnt need to worry about that.  No amount of medication will ever grant him normality like you see it and it would be morally and ethically wrong to force medication on someone to make them fit your definition of what they should be like.  They are not you.  It would be best to let him evolve as an individual.

Reply
  • Avoid medication that young.  It has far too many side effects and his brain is still developing. Anxiety medication might be a possible route, but be aware that it is addictive and coming off it is likened to worse than coming off crack.  I use it, but a quarter of a tablet once in a while.  its good for acute anxiety problems.  Im not sure going hardcore into SSRI's would be a good idea either, at a young age. But in the US they seem to hand out Prozac to young children like smarties, so maybe its possible, but im not sure I would.  I've had them in the past and the side effects were worse than the depression.  Also due to long half lifes, they take months to come off and trying to do it cold turkey can be very bad.  The likely outcome of giving a person prozac is you end up with a zombie that is tired all the time and will probably just stop functioning completely.  That was me after 3 months on it. Sertraline and Citalopram were about the same.  You could try St Johns Wort if hes not taking anything that interacts with MAOI drugs.  It has a similar uplift, but its an OTC you can buy in most supermarket supplement aisles.  Its what I used to use after I was fed up with being a zombie and went looking for something I could use on occasion and then stop.  It gives a mood uplift, has some anxiolytic effects and helped with my OCD a little.  i used to take them for a couple of days then stop once the crisis was over.  My GP suggested I tried them.  Might be a possible route to try before you bring out the heavy guns.

    Limit his screen time and maybe block youtube if that is the main problem.  Also explain that the vast majority of stuff you find on youtube is complete cr*p and not factual.  Maybe point him at interesting but not anxiety invoking stuff like Discovery documenaries or documentaries in general, but try and supervise what he watches.  If it doesnt help then id block youtube.  I suspect the digital world really doesnt help people with anxiety.  Everywhere you go you find negative stuff.  My brother only allows his children, one is 11, 1 hour of screen time a day and its supervised.  No phones until they get to 16 (but he said he wasnt against giving them say an old nokia as an emergency phone).

    I hate to say this, but he will never be normal by the average NT's idea of normal.  He will either be high functioning or maybe not.  With some luck he may meet someone and get married and have children.  I have two siblings that I know have various levels of (undiagnosed) ASD and both have a wife and kids, also a good degree and masters, houses and a good life.  Many people with ASD have a good life.  I really wouldnt worry about that so much.  Also he doesnt need to worry about that.  No amount of medication will ever grant him normality like you see it and it would be morally and ethically wrong to force medication on someone to make them fit your definition of what they should be like.  They are not you.  It would be best to let him evolve as an individual.

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