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How to deal with bad neighbours

JAYCE

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you all, but I have nosey neighbours who are being awful to us,

we are a family of Autism and ADHD mixed children, even I myself am Autistic Adhd although I was never diagnosed as a child,

We have a lovely happy home life full of play and laughter,

but many times a days that laughter can switch to raging meltdowns in seconds, during these meltdowns our kids will ususaly swear, rage and scream very loudly,

and then go back back to playing as though nothing has happened, This is Normal in our house,

but our nosey neighbour will not stop interfering in our business, they started by constantly asking what was going on,

asking if the children were alright and if we needed help etc,

but they are so nosey, we do not want to tell them our private business, and I refuse to explain ourselves to them,

but now they keep being nasty towards us,

in the latest incident, while my partner and I were both at work doing vital key work at the same time,

our neighbour went over to our registered childminder's house, scared her into thinking she was breaking the law,

saying our children were not allowed in her house and made our children stand in the car park for 2 hours,

this caused a huge row, after which the man kept calling me a child abuser and threatened to phone Social services on us.

he's called me this many times, and has gone around calling me this to other neighbours,

who have been honest and told me about it.

I have reported this to the police and a housing safety officer, who said they would have words with them,

but they have gone straight back to the horrid name calling after just one day,

we are so stressed this is affecting all of us especially our kids who are constantly being told to be quiet because we fear neighbours.

we fear to go in our own garden when they are in theirs and we are having to be very vigilant when we go aout,

we've been told to not say anything and ignore them, but it simply isn't working,

we desperately need help but we don't know who to turn to, or how to deal with this,

J

  • For once I can’t think of any practical advice which hasn’t been offered, but I wanted to show my support, so stay strong :)

  • Honey do your best to ignore them and keep a written record of all behaviour, anything you can video on your phone if they're outside do it ask the friends they are talking to to do the same and if it goes on then report it to the police with the evidence of stalking and get a restraining order for the family and anyone you know. If you record anything on your phone keep the videos then you'll have all the evidence.

    I know its hard, there are people in the world who enjoy your and your family's pain and they sound like one of these. This is why ignoring them works - because they don't get to have your pain. Your energy deserves to be elsewhere. As I say if they keep persisting, get all the evidence you need to shut them down. The police can't turn away actual videos of their crap.

    Best wishes

    xxx

  • Keep a record and report it to the police. We had this a few years ago. It got quite bad. I reported it on 101 and an officer came over which I thought was strange. He must have seen the car weve not heard from him since. Turns out years ago he was accused of rape. 

    The following me, watching me, staring at me, and the abuse to my family all made sense

  • in reply to JAYCE

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's a very tricky situation, so Citizens' Advice, as Just Some Guy suggested, is the only thing I can really think to recommend.

    It sounds like these people can't be reasoned with, which is very frustrating when we're all stuck indoors. 

    I hope you and your family get the support you need.

  • in reply to JAYCE

    i'am so sorry  that your neighbour are awful . i had this same thing few years ago ,get evidence keep the police and a housing safety officer informed and real the best think is to try and move ,thing did not change for us .we was lucky to get a move.

    we had 3 year of hell ,just good lucky and hope you have better lucky with the police and a housing safety officer than we did.

  • in reply to Just some guy

    Following the incident last week, we did record the whole row on video, in the video he can be seen raising his fists threatening to punch me, plus I have other recordings of him threatening violent harm against me, and hurling abuse,

    the problem we have right now, is that the police and saftey officer think their words have stopped the abuse,

    but our neighbour is still carrying on calling us, I'll give citizens advice a try,

    thank you.

  • https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/problems-where-you-live/complaining-about-your-neighbour/ is a helpful resource in this situation. You're describing anti-social harassment, so get the council and police support needed to capture evidence they'll need to take action.