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Starting school, what should I do??

Liz

Hi,

I really need some advice from adults on the spectrum as well as parents with older children on the spectrum.

My son James is due to start school in September next year. He has a diagnosis of ASD and a repaired cleft lip and palate. He currently attends nursery 3 days a week with 15 hrs 1-2-1 support. He attends speech therepy once a week at our local childrens centre. We have submitted an application for a statement of special educational needs.

James is a lovely happy boy, he has some verbal communication although this is very difficult for others to understand and is limited to his needs. He still wears nappies, needs help with feeding, has sensitivity issues to loud noises textures etc, he is significantly behind other children his own age and has the usual difficulties of interacting with his piers and teachers. He is far more likely to shut off and withdraw than have tantrums or behavioural difficulties

I have looked at 2 schools for children with special education needs and lots of "normal" state infant/primary schools.

As a parent I know that making the right decision for James now is extremely important and I am totally torn by the decision to send James to a "special" school who have experience in supporting children with a diagnosis of ASD or a "normal" school where with 1-2-1 support James may have a chance to reach his full potential and interact with piers that do not have a diagnosis.

Can any adults with ASD or parents of older children with ASD give me any advice or share their own experiences of their education at "normal" and or "special" schools. I feel like I am being asked to predict the future by making this decision for James and I am terrified that I will do the wrong thing for him. Please help x

Parents

  • Hi Liz,

    By sounds of it I'd say go for a specialist school. While mainstream offers 1 to 1 mentoring/assitance its always hit and miss, you might get a great mentor, or you'll probably get someone not trained in caring for kids with ASD who can make things so much worse i.e. simply yell at kids or ignore them until a meltdown occurs.

    If your son has issues with sound texture and noise sensitivity then mainstream schools do little to accomodate this, at best they'll take him out of his lessons to sit in a room alone, which doesn't help him in any way. Also, the fact hes still wearing nappies will sadly be a point he could be bullied on in later life, as some (in my experience, most) of the 'normal' kids will use this knowledge later on for their own purposes.

    Ultimately I think you need to look at it practically, even if your son goes to a specialist school he will still socialise and may even learn from them better how to interact with other people, whereas in mainstream, first impressions can be damaging for his entire time at primary. So socialising (which seems to be your main consideration for mainstream) aside, who has the best training and equipment for helping your son develop at his own pace without causing undue stress?

    Good luck.

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  • Hi Liz,

    By sounds of it I'd say go for a specialist school. While mainstream offers 1 to 1 mentoring/assitance its always hit and miss, you might get a great mentor, or you'll probably get someone not trained in caring for kids with ASD who can make things so much worse i.e. simply yell at kids or ignore them until a meltdown occurs.

    If your son has issues with sound texture and noise sensitivity then mainstream schools do little to accomodate this, at best they'll take him out of his lessons to sit in a room alone, which doesn't help him in any way. Also, the fact hes still wearing nappies will sadly be a point he could be bullied on in later life, as some (in my experience, most) of the 'normal' kids will use this knowledge later on for their own purposes.

    Ultimately I think you need to look at it practically, even if your son goes to a specialist school he will still socialise and may even learn from them better how to interact with other people, whereas in mainstream, first impressions can be damaging for his entire time at primary. So socialising (which seems to be your main consideration for mainstream) aside, who has the best training and equipment for helping your son develop at his own pace without causing undue stress?

    Good luck.

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