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Help! 5 year old ASD, aggression

Carty203

Hello I have just joined this group in the hope to get some help also. My son is only 5 but the verbal and physical aggression is just so draining! I feel like I’ve lost control of my son! I have read every article out there and trying to help him with positive reinforcement and we do have an amazing bond, but when we say no or do something which he doesn’t like he kicks off nothing seems to work, he doesn’t have any interest in anything for to those things away as “punishment”.

I can be calm and he still reacts. It’s not all the time but it’s the bad hours that are what sticks with you. We are on the waiting list now for the next stages of assessment and I’m not even sure what the actual diagnosis will help with?!

My son walked, talked, potty training all very early & seemed to be a very intelligent little boy. I just wish I could help him with the outburst! I do send him upstairs when he is in crisis mode but I just cannot withstand the hitting spitting hair pulling that comes my way. I breath through most of it but I’m human & get angry at him so need to walk away by telling him to go to his room. I tell him to come back down when he’s ready, he does  & we hug, we talk through that it’s not ok to hurt, spit, kick but I’m left feeling so awful that I can’t help him. It’s so draining on me & my marriage, we are just firefighting through life! i also wonder sometimes how do you ensure it is ASD and not just your child wanting their own way? I’ve got older parents who don’t believe in such a thing as ASD they just think he’s “playing us up” (which I constantly defend & try to educate them on the ASD behaviours) 

sorry for such a long post but think I just needed to get out all the emotions to be able to start the day afresh!
Many Thanks

Parents

  • Hi mate i am mother of a 27 year old nonverbal Autistic son and trust me, i know where you are coming from! My son was expelled from a special school when he was 18 for breaking a teachers nose!

    i wasn’t clear if your son can talk or not? A lot of my sons aggressive behaviour was related to him not being able to communicate his wants and needs.

    i think the best way... or at least the way i did it, the way i tried to distinguish between “bad” behaviour and Autistic behaviour was to examine each situation that made him “kick off” and see what i was doing, what he was doing, and what the triggers could possibly be. 

    My son needed a LOT of pre warning for things, such as, I couldn’t just say “right its time for bed” i had to tell him at least 3 times in a countdown method... half an hour till bed... 10 mins till bed and then bedtime, this gave him chance to process the information and if he tried to kick off i would say “i told you it was going to be bedtime” etc

    i hope this helps, and please feel free to msg back. Us parents need to support each other where we can, and iv been on this road much longer so hopefully my experiences can help

    Sooz

Reply

  • Hi mate i am mother of a 27 year old nonverbal Autistic son and trust me, i know where you are coming from! My son was expelled from a special school when he was 18 for breaking a teachers nose!

    i wasn’t clear if your son can talk or not? A lot of my sons aggressive behaviour was related to him not being able to communicate his wants and needs.

    i think the best way... or at least the way i did it, the way i tried to distinguish between “bad” behaviour and Autistic behaviour was to examine each situation that made him “kick off” and see what i was doing, what he was doing, and what the triggers could possibly be. 

    My son needed a LOT of pre warning for things, such as, I couldn’t just say “right its time for bed” i had to tell him at least 3 times in a countdown method... half an hour till bed... 10 mins till bed and then bedtime, this gave him chance to process the information and if he tried to kick off i would say “i told you it was going to be bedtime” etc

    i hope this helps, and please feel free to msg back. Us parents need to support each other where we can, and iv been on this road much longer so hopefully my experiences can help

    Sooz

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