Hello everyone, I am going to try and keep this as short as possible.
I have a 3 year old who I have believed for a little while now to be autistic. He has always been non-verbal and near to his third birthday, he had his first evaluation with a speech and language therapist. We understand that he uses 'jargon' and I have reason to believe that he has very recently started to (occasionally) use non- functional echolalia. Obviously, his lack of speech is not the only reason I believe him to be autistic, there are many more - sleep problems, food problems, lack of appropriate emotion, no sense of danger, rarely responds to his name, repetitive behaviors, doesn't react well to change in routine, some sensory issues (seems to dislike or be overwhelmed by seeing people with things on their heads or faces/screams at buzzing sounds such as at the hair dressers or electric toothbrushes/etc.).
Now I am also coming to terms with the fact that I also believe my eighteen month old little girl may also be the same. She also doesn't say any words and seems to be more delayed (rarely babbles, just makes noises more than anything) than even my son was at that age. She can't/won't use a spoon, can't seem to drink properly from anything but a baby bottle, her sleep is awful, she rarely responds to her name, she doesn't play with toys like a typical child (she just throws things/knocks things over/or runs around in circles holding onto them), I believe she has a 'head-shaking stim', and just her general behavior seems to be what I consider 'involuntarily aggressive'.
Note: Please bare in mind that for both children, I have only listed a few of the traits that I believe they have, just to give an idea - there are many more for both.
When I had my little girl, it hadn't even crossed my mind that my son MAY be on the spectrum - I just thought he was speech delayed. So to then come to the realization that my daughter may also have it, hit me like a train. Now I'm also pregnant with my 3rd and where I was oblivious before, it has all happened so fast and I don't know how to keep up or what to do.
Now I know I can't possibly know for sure but I feel like I am as certain as I can be without a professional telling me officially. The problem I'm having is that I have no choice but to go through the NHS for this process and the waiting list for the pediatrician is SO long, never mind everything that comes after that, including all the speech and language therapy and now to have to get the ball rolling with with my little girl also. Not to mention, with the current circumstances of COVID-19 lockdown/social distancing etc. and everything else going on, it seems like we will be waiting even longer (understandably).
What I was hoping for is absolutely ANY advice on what I can do in the meantime. I know the spectrum is vast and every single child is different, but I can't just sit back while waiting for the professionals while my children are either at a standstill or could potentially regress. Is there any where I can learn some things to do at home with them? Are there online courses I could take to learn how to help them? What about discipline? How do I know when I'm doing the right thing or making something worse? How can I teach sharing? Potty training for my son? Advice on sleep for my 18mo? Am I worrying too much or not enough? I would literally appreciate any advice.
I am so lost and have no idea where to turn. Health visitors, GP's etc have been almost useless thus far. I'm really trying my best to keep my head above water while preparing for a new baby in lockdown, keep myself and my children healthy during this time and dealing with major sleep deprivation/mum-guilt etc.
I just want to do whats right for them.
Thanks in advance.
Note: I apologize if I have used any terms/words in the wrong context or not appropriately.
