hi.
so my oldest daughter is diagnosed with ASD. she has been attending a special school for social emotional and mental health needs since May 2017 and has settled in great. she stops there 2 nights a week as they have an on site residential. she has been attending the residential since September 2019. my girl is such a lovely bubble character but really struggles emotionally and socially, the residential was offered to her to try and help with these issue .
so yesterday, she stopped at residential, they took the kids to the cinemas. I had a phone call from one of the staff as my daughter was having a meltdown, they were nor sure what had started it at the time but said usually if they are out like they were, if they couldn't calm her down straight away they would call me to see if she would want to talk to me, to try and see if this would calm her down..... it didnt. she would not speak to me and I heard her in the background saying 'EFF OFF YOU STUPID B****!' I was absolutely gobsmacked, I have never heard her swear DIRECTLY at anyone like this before. the staff member told me not to worry and they would call me back later to let me know how she got on. the staff called me abit later on and advised me she had calmed down but they were still not sure why this meltdown had started. they asked if I knew where the swearing had come from, I told them she has never sworn like that at home but my daughter has told me before that a lot of the kids swear when they are struggling at school, I told the staff this. they asked if anything had changed recently at home. I told them that in the last few months she has been abit more of a challenge. I also have a 3 year old girl who finds it very funny to wind her big sister up! obviously my 3 year old is too young to understand the older ones difficulties. my older one finds it hard as she does not understand why my younger daughter doesn't understand her! so understandably this can be abit of a nightmare at times! they are very often arguing and screaming at each other and feel like sometimes I am at my wits end as I dont know what to do! I told the member of staff. she also told me that recently a new girl had started at the residential and lexie has been worried about being left out and getting very upset about it and they were going to work more with her to try and support her. that was that really.
so today... what a day!! I have recieved a phone call from children's services as they are worried about my eldest and myself. she has been talking to the teachers today telling them that I hate her, I hurt her and her little sister. their dad hurts me.... she wishes she wasnt born and she wishes her sister would die and she wants to kill herself.
I was absolutely distraught. we had a similar situation when she was younger. social services in the end put it down to her autism and her not being able to differentiate between reality and fantasy. she would say things like her dad was hurting her when they were play fighting/tickling. on this occasion today she has said similar things as well as the above and now they are coming back out to do another assessment. I am an absolute mess.
I have tried speaking to my daughter today. I asked her why she told people daddy hurts me, she said because she thinks I dont like her and I'm horrible to her! I asked why she had said that I had hurt her and her sister, she gave me 2 answers... the first one was that when I was kicking her baby sister she wanted to save her so she kicked me when I kicked her sister. (btw I have not kicked anyone!) her second answer was it was just a joke... I told a joke for you. it's not true.
I am at my wits end! why is my daughter lying ! the school are being very supportive and have said they have no doubt in their mind that me and dad have done anything wrong, they have met us on several occasions and have expressed how much love they see between us all when we are together, but they have to do their job and report these things which I completely understand. but what do I do? how can I stop my daughter from saying such horrible things. I have done nothing wrong and I am worried about children's services even though I shouldnt be?!
has anyone had similar situations about their ASD children lying? confusing fantasy with reality? any advice please ?!
thanks in advance!